Taking a moment to vent

I LOATHE Kaiser (my HMO) Each time I call to speak to my midwife I have to go through their obnoxious phone menu system and they send her office a message on the computer saying that someone is trying to reach them. Then I get a call back either from her nurse or from the general advice nurse. Usually, even though I would like to talk to my midwife, I just suck up and talk to whomever calls me back, but this time I actually need to speak with my midwife about a possible homebirth midwife who she used to work with and also to see if I can get a copy of my medical records to share with said possible new midwife without jumping through all the hoops and possibly causing concerns about continuing my care. (I intend to do co-care through my HMO to avoid transfer difficulties should that need arise.)

So I tell the person who called me back that I really just need to actually speak to my midwife this time because we need to talk about some things that came up in one of my appointments (She told me at the appt where she said she couldn't be at a homebirth for us that she would be glad to give us any feedback she could on midwives and to ease any transition to one) So thisnurse, even though I was trying to be firm but polite hung up on me after snottily telling me that I would just have to wait until my midwife got in tomorrow. I mean come on.

I can't talk to my provider herself without jumping through major hoops (even though midwives are *supposed* to be more accessible), my appointments are a travesty time-wise, especially after what my appointments with my homebirth midwife last time, and I am 31 1/2 weeks pregnant and not only am I not being seen every 2 weeks now, my appointments are generally 5 weeks apart, and I won't be seen again until I am 33 1/2 weeks pregnant (from 28 weeks) Is this stupid to anyone else or am I being overly sensitive? This is all part of the reason that I have stopped being able to compartmentalize my feelings about facing a hospital birth as the "pragmatic" decision. How many babies am I going to have anyway? With as difficult as it was to get pregnant with this one, I might not ever have another baby. And don't I and this baby deserve a peaceful birth? And with all the stess and crap surrounding just trying to speak to my provider, why in the world should I believe that the birth will be anything but a big pain in the butt and a fight from start to check-out?

Plus, about that homebirth, Unless I am able to find someone who will be willing to negotiate and work with us, (I have an appt on Friday with someone who *might* be willing since we are so far along) We cannot find the money to have a homebirth midwife. Just typing that sentence makes me cry. Around here, the midwives run about $3400-$4000 for a homebirth. To have the baby at our HMO would cost us $200 at most, probably way less, because that is based on their $100/day policy and we would check ourselves out ASAP. The cost with DS ended up being miserable because DH lost his job right before my 3rd trimester started and it took him 9 months to find another job, which led to it taking 2 years to pay off DS's birth.

And yet, the thought of having this baby in a hospital makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I don't care if our midwife has said that she will be on call for us. I don't care that we can check ourselves out of the hospital after 6 hours. I want to have my baby at home with my husband in the quiet and peace of our space. I avoid any thinking about the actual birth. I haven't even gone to see the labor and delivery area of the hospital because I am avoiding the inevitable, perhaps with the (obviously mistaken) notion that by avoiding it, it will never come to pass. Also, I'm pretty sure I will burst into tears during the tour in a fairly embarrassing way. Heck, I burst into tears at everything these days, so why not at something actually emotionally charged?

And as a side freak-out, the friend I thought would be able to help out with DS when I was birthing is going through a major emotional crisis, and while I am not upset with her or anything, (and actually I really feel for her. As burnt out as she is, I can hardly believe she has held up this long) I have no freaking idea where DS will go during the birth whether we have the baby at home or not (He has asked to not be here for it.) I hate being 2000 miles away from family. Any family.

A few pictures, since I haven't posted any in ages:

From that Waldorf Faire I mentioned a few weeks back. Don't you love his acorn necklace? :) :



And from DS's 4th birthday at Goofy's kitchen.



and



More later because I want to talk about my homebirth, or maybe lack thereof, and a kind of babysitter bummer that I wouldn't mind feedback on.

Random Ramblings

So I still haven't told anyone about this blog. The only people who come here are those who either find it from one of the 3 people who have it on their blogroll or are one of those 3 people or my SIL (who comes here every few months or so.) I don't know why. On one hand, I like not having to answer to people IRL about what I post here so that I can vent about stuff like DH or family or whatever. OTOH, it might be nice to have people to talk to instead of just cyberspace.

Second, this blog is increasingly inaptly named. My knitting is nonexistant nowadays with this pregnancy carpal tunnel. And that blows because I really want to get some diaper covers and longies knitted and it just isn't happening. But, then again, my whole homekeeping has suffered this pregnancy. I am having a hard time even keeping up with cooking and cleaning and laundry, nevermind sewing, mending, knitting, baking, crafts, etc. I guess it is getting me ready for the utter lack of time I will have with a newborn, but I kind of feel cheated especially because I know that my free time will take a major fall when the baby comes.

Third: DS and school. Now this is a subject that I am struggling over. We are involved in a homeschool group. We were actually involved in another one a while back, but there are some bullying issues there and I don't intend on exposing my DS to bullying when I can avoid it, IYKWIM. So this new group spun off of the playgroup we have been involved with since DS was just 6 months old (He turned 4 last week) Many of the families have been DS's playmates for years and it tends toward the younger end of the spectrum rather than the preschool to high school groups around elsewhere, mostly because we have spun off of our playgroup and we are reaching this age together.

Anyway, I am frustrated with this group because one of the big problems people often bring up about homeschooling is socialization. Which, BTW, is inaccurate. What they really mean is having consistant social outlets with the same general group of people. Anyway, I tend to agree that this is a concern with homeschooling so my goal then is to attempt to find a consistant group of people with whom we interact on a very regular basis. This group can't seem to manage even a weekly park day. At best we have a biweekly park day, but those are sporadically attended. Sometimes there are tons of kids, sometimes 2. They have also instituted what they call Young Explorer Days on a weekly basis. Problem with this? Tons of driving. Sometimes hours of it. They want to explore some local places, some not local places and even include hiking. Well, hiking is out for us because DS will poop out after the 1st mile and want to be carried. And I am 7 months pregnant and not carrying a 50+lb child for another few miles. And yes, the hikes tend toward the 2+ mile length there and then again back. Some 3-5 year olds can do this, but certainly not even the majority. I won't even get into the fact that we live in (and they are hiking through) mountain lion country and there have been attacks and deaths, although not tons of them.

So to recap, the only regular weekly get together isn't very consistant given that the place varies every week, sometimes by a hundred miles, or includes activities that are just not appropriate for the general age range of the group. (general age range being 3-6 years old, with many younger siblings from newborn to 2) Now how good is this for social interaction and community building? It isn't. Which encourages me to not homeschool. But then my friends who have children in the school system tell me about what goes on there which strongly encourages me to homeschool. And I'm not even talking about their horror stories! Plus, I have a year and a half before DS even qualifies for kindergarten because of where his birthday falls and preschool is WAAAAAAAY out of our budget even if it were something we were interested in. So we are looking at homeschooling at the very least until he qualifies age-wise for kindergarten. *sigh*

This is a cool DH story

For years as a child I asked for the Crayola Color Caddy. Wanted it with all my heart and every year I got a different Crayola kit, because my parents apparently had no idea what I was talking about. So this has come up over the years with DH here and there, mostly as a humorous aside, because I harbor no distress over this, but I always thought it was funny that my parents, well meaning though they were, couldn't manage this fairly simple gift.

Fast forward to this year. DH has been trying, fruitlessly, to get me this Caddy for Hanukkah this year. They no longer make it in the US and haven't in years. So he has been hunting literally all over the world. He contacted Crayola customer service, who put him in touch with their UK division, who told him that they no longer make it either and the only place in the world that carries anything similar is Australia. So he contacted them and thought that this was a gift idea that was going to die because of seriously prohibitive shipping fees ($65 to get the thing here). And lo and behold, Crayola Australia is sending him one gratis. Just because it was such a sweet story and they wanted to help out.

So this year I am finally getting a Crayola Caddy. Of course I don't know what I will do with it... :)

In other news, I went to the party and had a crummy time. I was bored and seasick (which kept me from being hungry I guess :) ) But DH enjoyed himself and seems to believe that we both had a grand time, so I'm happy to let him believe that. It is over and I have about 3 years before I have to go to another one! :) Oh, and just FWIW, DH got home at just past 7:30pm that night, in case you were wondering.

Sucky Mom of the Week goes to...

Me. Yeah me. This pregnancy is kicking my butt nowadays. I'm tired, I'm cranky and I am seriously tired of fighting with my almost 4yo about everything. And when I am at my tiredest (early evening and facing dinner with a dread previously unknown to me) he is at his wildest and most aggravating. And DH has all of a sudden hit a point where it is impossible for him to get home at a reasonable hour. He just can't get his butt out the door when he says he will. For example, this week is Hanukkah, starting tonight. I told him that if he wanted to spend it with his son, he needed to get in earlier so he could leave earlier. Well, he got in earlier. And guess what? He isn't getting home any earlier. If he is here by 7:00 tonight I will probably pass out cold (and this after he told me he was shooting for 6:30) He also said that he would put in some extra hours yesterday so that he could free up a little time to be able to make leaving early a possibility. He worked until 11:30pm.

And I have to go to his work holiday party on Thursday. I DO NOT want to go to this. I am exhausted by 7pm and this thing doesn't even start until 7:30. It is on a boat on the ocean. I am slightly ocean-phobic, especially on boats. I have nothing to wear. Literally nothing because plus sized women apparently are not allowed to get pregnant. And if we do, we can order about 12 things, including 1 dress, via online. I did not order said dress, because I really don't need a black velvet floor length maternity dress that I will wear once. Does business casual mean jean skirts? I sure hope so. Oh, and it is a dinner cruise where you have to submit your dietary preference (i.e. vegetarian) at reservation time. Guess what they never even asked about. Bingo. So I won't have anything to eat either. So I'm going to be hungry, seasick, underdressed, and experiencing anxiety attacks about the ocean for the whole 2 1/2-3 hours I'll be on that thing. Matter of fact, I'm having a minor anxiety attack just thinking about it.

Getting Better

Well, DH eventually semi-apologized. (meaning that he still doesn't think he did anything wrong, but he acknowledges that I think so and was hurt by it and so apologized for being the source of my hurt. And also for calling my feelings about it BS.) And then he did better at Disneyland yesterday. OK, not perfect, because DS and I spent a lot of time on our own, but I was more okay with it for some reason. Probably because, being pregnant, there are few things I can go on anyway, and also because I can go pretty much whenever I want to rather than it being a once a year sort of deal.

But this problem rears its head occasionally because DH has a tendency to put his family ahead of our family, although I don't think he does it on purpose at all. He just gets this "I'm with these people all the time" thing going in his head that he doesn't realize that he often puts us on hold for them, even when his family of origin isn't here (meaning he talks to them on the phone for hours at a time each week while we wait around for him to be done.)

Anyway, the air is much more clear around here, at least for now.

Hormonal Psycho Pregnant Mama Alert

Be on the lookout, she is touchy, she is testy, and she will cry or lash out at the drop of a hat.

Now, granted, my husband was a total ass yesterday and refuses to apologize or even acknowledge that he did anything wrong, so I am extra bitchy as a result. And my SIL is here and can't keep her nose out of our marriage. She has to make some comment or suggestion or go behind one or the other of our backs to "tell on" the other of us because of some slight that she perceived. And I have one more week of her here. And DH sees no concern with this and makes me whisper these complaints about her in my own bedroom, with the door shut with her asleep down the hall in case she might hear.

Now, about my total ass husband: we went to a Waldorf Faire yesterday. We got there and he proceeded to either ignore us (DS and I) while we were around him or just take off for an hour at a time with his sister and leave me with DS. As a result, I wasn't able to get food, go to the bathroom, had to carry my 55lb injured and bleeding son around (Did I mention I am 26 weeks pregnant? No?) And when he did show up, he ignored us. He shows up, sometime after DS fell and hurt himself (about 30-45 minutes) and I am hurting from the exertion of carrying him, so DH says to rest, he'll watch him. Well, he got to talking again and proceeded to ignore DS again to the point where I had to keep getting up to help DS. When he finally decides we should head back to the food, lo and behold there isn't anything but chicken in a pita left. So he got a nice sandwich and I got diddly squat, so I took DS to the tea party area where we got tepid (because of the little ones) tea and some mini chocolate chip cookies. DH doesn't show up again for ages. I am finally able to get him on the cell phone (because of the location of the faire, antenna availability was sporadic at best) he is off with his sister again making friendship bracelets. I told him we were at the tea party and DS was getting antsy and needed to get going. So they got there and sat down to work on their bracelets more and of course DS wasn't going to sit any longer, so I told DH that we were on our way to go use the last tickets we had since the faire was ending soon and DS couldn't sit anymore. So once again, I was on my own.

And then on the ride home, he proceeded to tell me about all the cool things that he and SIL had seen that I had not gotten a chance to see because I was on solitary mommy duty all day. I about burst into tears, but held myself because I wanted to actually talk about this alone with him.

Fast forward home. DH spends the entire night downstairs watching movies with SIL while I spend an hour+ getting DS to sleep and then crash in my own room because sitting up on the sofa is too much at this point in my day. Then this morning bright and early, DH wakes up and decides that now would be a good time to get friendly. Well, needless to say, I was in no mood at all and took the opportunity of alone time and him actually being there to tell him all of this and he told me that it was all my fault. He still has not apologized nor does he intend to and then he wonders why I am angry and bitchy today.

Just a little vent

DS's carseat needed cleaning badly, so I pulled it out of the car and took the cover and straps off to wash. Then DH called and needed something from upstairs. So when I got up there I needed to sit for a minute and catch my breath since I had just come from carrying that heavy Britax Marathon and taking it apart to running up the stairs. When I returned downstairs (after about 3 minutes) my almost 4yo DS had ripped the comfort foam and removed the impact foam from the leg area and hidden it. He still hasn't returned it, despite being told that we likely wouldn't be able to go anywhere in the car for over a week until it is replaced, so I had to call Britax, order replacement parts (which will arrive in 7-10 days) and now wait for them to arrive. Luckily, they said we could still use the seat without that particular foam because of its location. That is good, because my very favorite festival of the year is this weekend, and I would have been seriously pissed off if I had to miss it.

And last night I saw on the news a segment on car safety while pregnant and that car accidents are a large cause of infant death after 24 weeks due to abrupted placenta (and I am 25 weeks right now and, BTW, driving all sorts of places for hours at a time in LA traffic this week) And so, since I am the anxiety queen, just in general, this doesn't ease my mind. So I am just sure to follow the safety belt rules for pregnant moms and hope and pray for the best.

And news from here:

3 things really. Sometime in the night I went to turn over in bed, got a shooting pain and now it appears as though I have strained or pulled a muscle in my hip/lower back region. I saw my midwife today (happened to be my 24 week appt) and she said there wasn't much to do besides massage. And of course my crap insurance doesn't cover that *or* chiropractic. And the icy-hot patch isn't doing diddly squat. (although I appreciate the recommendation for it MortimersMom! :)

Also at this appointment she told me that because of the administrative crap at my HMO, she would not be able to attend a homebirth for us, although she will do her best to attend a hospital birth for us, which is something considering she would have to give us her personal cell number. I don't know what to do since $3400 is way out of our budget for a homebirth right now and I really don't want to have my 2nd at a hospital when I had my 1st at home and I would really be knowing what I was missing. The fact that I have to choose just totally sucks.

And last: gestational diabetes. It is my intention to refuse this test, although I will monitor my blood sugar at home via glucometer. Currently I have good fasting blood sugar levels and decent, although not great 1hr GTT levels (I informally tested myself utilizing Halloween candy, LOL). They fall, barely, under where they like to see levels after the 50g glucose 1hr GTT. She isn't pressuring me, per se, to have the GTT, but she did speak in favor of it. I have some concerns about GD since I am considered severely overweight, and I had a 9 1/2lb baby the 1st time who had fairly severe jaundice. But I am concerned, rightfully so I believe, about opening myself up to interventions that would not be an issue if I didn't have that particular diagnosis on my chart.

Has it really been 2 months since I posted?

Good night! I have been so crazy lately, I can't seem to keep up with anything. I developed pregnancy carpal tunnel as well, so my fingers are numb and hurt, especially when I type, so I don't do it as often as I used to.

And knitting? Well, that isn't happening either for the same reason, and I really need to step it up on that so I have some things for when the baby gets here.

And we are having a boy!! I would post ultrasund pictures, but Kaiser's ultrasounds blow, so I am completely unsure of how they tell anything on them. For our 1st, the ultrasound was so clear, but this was awful. And they wouldn't let us tape it. So apparently it is true, the 2nd kid does get shafted on pictures, right from the start! :)

Isn't it ironic...

that now that I am in the 2nd trimester and my energy levels are starting to return that I have started heavy duty packing and am therefore wearing myself out so much that I am more physically exhausted than I was during those 1st trimester weeks? Or does that just suck? :)

We have 2 more days to pack (Wednesday and Thursday) because Friday is dedicated to painting. Then the movers come on Sunday and deliver us to the promised land - er..... the 3BR condo. OMG am I beat. Sad story. I was so tired after putting DS to bed tonight, but I was really really thristy and we had no bottled water in the house (and the tap water tastes truly nasty here) but I was too tired to walk out onto the front porch to lift the 3 gallon jug into the kitchen and into the dispenser. So I had to rest for about an hour before I regained the energy enough to go get the water. Just pathetic. But, in my defense, I seriously got a lot of packing in today. I should be able to hit my 2 day cutoff without a problem.

Tomorrow's tasks? Another bunch of toys, most of the rest of the kitchen including food, except for absolutely necessary stuff and perishables, the rest of the non-essential clothes and all the little piddly stuff that is starting to form piles. I will put together my piddly last minute stuff box, but leave it open for access as well.

And where is DH during all this? Poor guy is in crunch time at his office. He is still at work at 9:35pm and isn't planning to leave anytime soon. They are going final on their game within a week so he is at work feelign super guilty that he is leaving his pregnant wife to pack up the house. I am under strict orders to not move the boxes I fill though, only tape them up and wait for him to get home and direct him where to move them.

Hopefully this time next week we will be mostly settled in our new place and all this will be behind us.

The Cat is Out of the Bag

I can't believe I forgot to mention it the last post. Duh. Anyway, the whole family knows and it is a bit of a relief to be sure. Although I can't figure out a way to tell the moms in my playgroup who I have been hiding it from as well. A big "I'm pregnant" email seems a little silly after dodging "Are you guys trying?" questions for a few months (while I was pregnant I might add!).

I had my 1st homebirth midwife appointment today and she seems really great, but a little hung up on the whole Bradley diet thing - to the point where they ask you to keep a food log every week and go over it with you at each prenatal appointment. Ugh. Like I need that kind of pressure. And they want me to eat 80-100 grams of protein every day. First of all for a vegetarian like myself, that is a little difficult and second, vegetarians generally have lower protein needs. I hope I don't end up butting heads with them about the protein issue. I'll stick to my beans and occasional dairy and eggs and tofu and see how I do. Maybe the protein is measuring up and I'm just not aware of it because I don't have her chart/checklist?

She's also really into waterbirth and I am just not attracted to it. I wasn't with my 1st and it really doesn't appeal to me like you would think it would. I liked my 8 hour shower while I was in labor with posterior lying DS, but the concept of climbing into a pool of water doesn't do it for me. Maybe it is because I am not thrilled about being wet in general. Even during my 1st (home)birth I never once though how great it would be to climb into water. Whatever.

In other news, we are moving in about 2 weeks. We found a great condo to rent with a common backyard and a great private deck and 3 BR for the price of a 2BR. We got really lucky. Only problem? It isn't walking distance to any synagogues. Again. We only found one place during our entire search that was within walking distance and it was rented before I could get over to the place to see it about 1 hour after it was listed in the MLS. It makes me crazy, but we can only do so much. You can't make places appear out of thin air. Here's what it looks like from the outside:

Miss me? Again?

My diligent updating is bound to build my readership, dontcha think? Seriously, I am exhausted lately and I hope very very much that the 2nd trimester eases this in a few weeks because nothing is getting done around here. Things to do that aren't getting done:

1. Packing. We are moving to a new apartment in a couple of weeks. I have around 7 boxes packed. FWIW, last time we moved we had 90+ boxes.

2. Cooking. My poor child has had bagels with cream cheese every morning this week. I simply cannot get it together more than that.

3. Cleaning. My house is a wreck. Oh sure, the big stuff is getting done - dishes, laundry, etc. but the clutter...? Well, it has moved in to stay awhile. DS is too quick with the toy scattering and my energy level is no match for him.

Good news? According to the handy dandy calculator over there -----> I only have a few weeks more of the 1st trimester and then the energy picks up a bit.

In other good news, we had a midwife appt today and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat at a lovely and strong 160 rate. DS has put 2 and 2 together and now realizes that being pregnant means that I am having a baby. No idea how he managed it, but there you go. Precocious 3 1/2 year olds..... Next appointment is with the OB for my once per pregnancy required OB visit. In other news, we have our 1st appointment with the homebirth midwife next week. We have to do prenatals through our HMO in order to be sure that there are no chances they might refuse to cover me in case of a transport. And it doesn't cost us anything...

We've got a new Due Date
 
I have been redated. So I am at February 27th now, but I am going to choose to believe that my EDD is March 1, because, frankly, I'm not too sure about that date, IYKWIM.  And I'm also a slave to dates (OK not really), so who knows if I will actually be able to keep that mindset. You'll notice my ticker is set with their dates. Of course, it is comforting to be over 8 weeks, so perhaps that's my thought process. Who knows? And have you ever been to a dating at this stage? It is like he sees a fuzzy blob and chooses a spot approximately on either side of it. When we had DS's u/s for dates, he was 16 weeks, so they measured his head and his legs and his arms. But this? Not so sure.

I thought that perhaps things were off because my hCGs were really high for the dates I thought I was, but I am not completely convinced I am 8weeks 2 days yet. So I will ask for a recount at my 20 week ultrasound to confirm dates.

In other good news, I got a very good (and high) heartrate - 175 - that seems to fit with an article I saw called SEX, HEART RATE, and AGE and the peak of heart rate seems to be around the 8-9 week mark, sooooo... BTW, the article debunks the whole boy heart rate/girl heart rate thing.

It was also a good picture of a yolk sac and an embryo. I'm pretty happy about the whole thing, obviously.  If DH got any decent pictures on the video camera (unlikely) I'll post them later.

So here's something new to keep me busy...
 
A new knitting project! I am SO buying this pattern: Little Turtle Knits Little Ribby I can't make anything really for the baby, especially since I don't know what sex s/he is. But every baby uses diapers. And since I did cloth with Ezra, I know I can accomplish it with this one. And maybe I'll knit a practice one for a friend who is due in a few months.
 
On the good news front, we went in this morning for my physical exam. Heaven only knows why they can't do this at the 1st appointment, but they don't. So I had my internal exam and then the extra bonus - an ultrasound. I was not expecting this today since I have the u/s for dates scheduled on Monday, but I was pleased.  Because I had a longer cycle than normal this time, they could not date from my LMP. I knew when I ovulated but no one will listen to a pregnant woman on that count apparently. So she is trying to tell me that I am 10 weeks along. Well, I know better. So she does the ultrasound and she says, "Well, it looks like you are around 6 weeks after all." Well, *I* knew that. It is nice to have some affirmation of what I already knew.  
 
And for the best part? We got to see the heartbeat. Woohoo!! So although they will give me an official EDD at the hospital ultrasound on Monday, We are pretty safe at keeping it at 3/10/05 for now. It may change by a day or two but we have a general part of the month to shoot for now. :) 
 
It is very nice to have a place where I can talk about this before we actually tell anyone. Since there are so few of you, loyal readers (hee hee), it mostly is between me and cyberspace. I think once I come out of the closet about this pregnancy, I will probably tell family/friends about it since we are generally so far away from everyone. They can feel like they are involved to some extent. But that probably means no venting about family/friends, huh?
 
Well, I'm off to find the softest sweetest wool out there!

My poor midwife

As I mentioned in my last post, we have a new little one expected early next year. Well, because of the year and a half that it took to get pregnant with said bundle, I am a bit of a wreck over every little thing. So I have had 3, yes 3, hcg counts on an uneventful (thank Gd) pregnancy. first came back at 3842. The next (a week later) at 34,000 and then another one over this weekend which is at 56,000. Very normal doubling (that BTW makes me and my midwife wonder if I had my dates correct for ovulation I may be 2 weeks off.) My progesterone numbers are also, (thank Gd) normal at 20.32 and then 23.6. Since they should be anywhere from 10-90 throughout the 1st trimester, then I'm normal.

So I'm sure that my poor midwife (well the one at the HMO anyway) thinks I'm about to be a difficult patient, but really I was a model patient the last time. I just need to chill out a bit and not worry so much. So I have my next appointment on Friday and then my ultrasound to confirm dates on Monday of next week. And in 16 days we hop on a plane to go to my dad's wedding and to tell the family to set another place at the table. :) It sure is hard to keep news like this under wraps.

In other news, my SIL got approved to make aliyah, so she leaves for Israel and her semester in Ulpan January 15th. Which means, of course, that she will miss the birth of the baby and getting to see him/her until she makes her first visit home to the States, which is who knows how far away. But it is such an amazing opportunity that I am thrilled for her.

Did you check out my current projects? ------>

We aren't really telling anyone yet, but I needed to park this html graphic somewhere and since only about 3 people check this blog ever, I figured it was a good place to do it. Please keep us in your prayers. We've been trying for a year and a half and we want this baby in the absolute worst way. But if you do happen to come across this, please keep it under wraps for now. I'll let you know when it is public knowledge.

Colonial House and other sundries

So DH and I watched the first bit of Colonial House last night. I don't like it NEARLY as much as Frontier House. They spent no time at all getting the viewer into the experience with the colonists. We jumped in as they were getting on the boat to the colony. We missed training and any sort of real introduction to the players. We also never got any real tour of the colony or the homes but were told to check things out on the website. It was nice to see the brief tour through Mrs. Vorhees kitchen however brief and string obsessed it was. Colonial House is much harder to get into because it feels very scattered and without any real direction. Plus, the colonists don't really seem to be getting into the experience fully. Maybe it is just too far to go back?

I would love to see a "Fiddler on the Roof" house. Remove the romance of it a bit and at the same time get to see how the ancestors from another prominant culture in our melting pot lived. It is enclosed enough (thanks to the ghetto/shtetl restrictions) to really get a feel for the era unlike trying to replicate Lower East Side tenament house complete with shirtwaist factory. Plus it will be interesting to see Sabbath restrictions enforced there as well. Maybe do from Purim through till Shavuot. Could be interesting.

So I got The Outside World tonight at the library, started and then finished it. I do believe that I will be purchasng this one in hardback. I enjoyed her other book The Ladies Auxiliary very much, but this one just is amazing. I keep reading about how it is funny, etc, and while it is amusing in places, I was just so moved by it and I cannot begin to say how wonderful this book is. Seriously.

DS and I are having some clashes lately, which is adding a lot of stress. He has taken to meowing all the time. And he does it in place of whining when he doesn't get his way, which seems to be happening more and more often. (it doesn't help that the way he isn't getting includes things like pouring apple juice on teh carpets for effect and stuff) And he doesn't want to go to sleep at night and fights it relentlessly.

He also hasn't let anyone but me put him to bed in over a year. Major screaming and hysterics if Michael tries. I'm just at my wit's end.

So my monitor is fried

And luckily I can use DH's computer here and there if I need to. It was a dramatic ending - a lot of fizzling that ended in a going black to the line of light in the middle followed by the little twinkle before total blackness. We're in the market for a new one for me.

The weather here is hot so we've had a lot of pool days, and indoor playdays. We went to the mall to their play area yesterday. We brought our lunch and had a great time with our friends.

I read another book in between the ones I was reading called "Not Much Just Chillin' " and it is WONDEFUL. It is about middle school. It's non-fiction and follows several different kids through their year in middle school. It certainly makes you consider homeschooling if you weren't already. What a hard row to hoe for kids. I was lucky that I went to a small private school ofr elementary through 8th grade and then went stright to high school. I cannot imagine having to go to middle school. Ugh.

Our brakes also went out this week. Well they were seriously grinding metal to metal (no warning squeak or anything) so I eased it back home and called DH to get a ride home and he fixed it the next morning. Ugh. Now that was freaky. DH said the rotors were ground down pretty far.

Now I have to drag DH out of bed (it IS 8:30), get him to work and start getting ready for Shabbat. This weekend is Lag B'Omer, so we have haircuts on our agenda. My long-haired 3yo is going to get his first serious haircut. He has only gotten trims, but he wants it short for the summer and I think it is time. I'll miss the little surfer boy look he has going on though.

Back from the weekend

We had a busy one. Trains and the California Science Center figured prominantly. We had a terrible time at the latter. It wasn't nearly as engaging as most other Science Museums I have been to. the Air and Space Gallery was particularly awful. They had shut down many of the exhibits and it was mostly an abandoned building. There was only one person working there at all and she was the greeter at the front. At least the trains kept the weekend from being a total loss. Now that was fun.

We are so pooped and, since it is supposed to be seriously hot here today (90F in April. That's just wrong.) we are staying home. It doesn't hurt that the apartment looks horrible and needs some major TLC. I will never understand how I can have it spotless on Friday evening and by Monday morning it looks like no one has ever even thought to clean up in here. It doesn't hurt that the carpet in here is totally gross because it is so darn cheap. We have had it professionally cleaned 4 times in the 2 1/2 years we have been here. It just gets gross again the next week. And we even get the truck mounted guys to come out. and of course we are way overcrowded in here, but we only have a few months left on that. As I've mentioned before, our lease is up in August and we are going to move then. 1BR is okay when you have a small baby, but now it is just too tiny. We stayed this long because we have been working to clear ourselves of debt. Our consumer debt will be gone as of June. Yay us. This last year is the one where it just got to be too hard. It was inconvenient before this, but it wasn't until DS turned 3 that it got really icky. I can't wait to have a 2nd BR so DS has his own space for his toys and bed and all that and we have space for a dining table inside the house (We currently have it on the balcony. One of the benefits of living in Southern CA I suppose. Very little rain and warm enough to eat outside most of the time.)

But of course, all that means time spent looking for a new place. And since we are pretty committed to living near the synagogue this time around, that limits our search radius. I trust that what is meant to be will be and we will find something appropriate when the time comes.

Booktalk

I still haven't added a "What am I reading" and "What am I listening to" etc section, even though I want to, mostly because I don't want to mess with Design elements too much. It drives DH crazy. :)

Anyway, so we'll start with my current reading list. For the fans of Jewish fiction with an Orthodox bent, I am currently rereading The Ladies Auxiliary by Tova Mirvis.

I lived in Memphis and was a part of the Orthodox community there for awhile, well as much as a college student and newly married who couldn't afford to live in the eruv could be. Anyway, it has a lot that is thinly veiled and some things are exact descriptions like the description of the purple and silver shul. I'll never forget the day I first walked into that shul. Plus, the story is just plain wonderful. Here's an excerpt from this one.

Also on my reading list is her next book - The Outside World.

I have it on hold at the library and hopefully it will show up this week. It is brand spanking new - out last month in hardback - and everything I have read about it has been overwhelmingly positive. Since I already know I love her style, I am looking forward to reading this one too. Here's an excerpt.

And then there is the book I just bought online and cannot wait to arrive: Lawrence Kelemen's To Kindle a Soul.

I've read excerpts in Natural Jewish Parenting and heard reviews by several people I know both IRL and online and I finally bought it. Yay!! And only just in time. He's coming to do a Shabbaton and Seminar at my local shul. I am so going! Oh wait. Maybe not. I'm going to be out of town. As DH just said, sucks to be me. D'oh. This happened when Rebbetzin Jungreis came too.

Okay, enough of that. There is no knitting news. I left the knitting in my trunk all day. But that's okay because Ezra and I had a really nice day. We took a long walk (well, I walked and he rode his tricycle) and played ball, bubbles, climbed on the play structure at the playground, drew with sidewalk chalk and generally had a nice time. We also redid the balcony and put our glass dining table back up out there so we can eat outside. We vacuumed the indoor/outdoor carpet reorganized some of the stuff out there and it is now a nice space again. We had dinner out there this evening (baked beans, polenta and steamed broccoli) It was wonderful. Oh, BTW, broccoli, organics and kashrut don't always go together very well. 4 large stalks of broccoli hit the trash during dinner preparations. Once aphids take hold in the broccoli florets there is no getting them out fully. Bummer.

Because once I mention it, I can't leave it alone...

So I have updated the blog to reflect more current projects and to fix Alysia's link, which somehow got messed up in the last blog update. See you later!

Two posts in one week! Don't get used to this!

Who knows how long this energy will last? Or the free time to do it. Actually I only have free time this afternoon because DS decided that he would in no way at all want to go to the park for the scheduled playdate. And you know what? Since he's playing nicely and quietly and not getting into everything, he must be happy to be here this afternoon. Granted we did a lot this morning (Mommy and Me at the Chabad) so its no wonder that he could use the downtime. So we'll head off to the farm at around 5 to get our CSA basket and then go get Daddy and come home to a lovely dinner of butterfly pasta with Swiss chard.

I still need to update my website itself (maybe later?) but for now, I'll simply settle for getting a few posts up.

OH! I forgot to mention! My dad is getting remarried in July after having been a widower for 2 1/2 years. I'm really happy for him and Karen, his fiance, seems like a great choice. She's a little like my mom in looks, but totally different in most every other way, but she is warm and personable and I think will be very good for my dad. She is also a widow who, coincidentally, lost her husband just a little before Dad lost Mom. So they can understand each other in that respect as well. Welcome to the family Karen!

And last, in knitting news, I've made good progress on the French Market Bag I hit my goal of finishing the base by Wednesday and now it is just stockinette in the round for quite awhile. Some good solid mindless knitting. Too bad I don't have a TV show to obsess over. Although I do have a couple of Netflix movies here that might be interesting. Oh and 2 weeks worth of 24 to sit through with DH.

Almost forgot, and since it is amusing, I wanted to add it: DH's office has to be out of their current space by next Friday because a new tenant has rented the space. (they never renewed their lease because they have been saying they would move for some time now.) And they have nowhere to go as of yet. Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh? We're wondering if there will be a point at which Michael will be telecommuting for a little while or if they will all move into his boss's living room. Did I mention his boss's wife is in her last trimester of pregnancy with their 2nd (their 1st is about 2 1/4 years old)? They've got a lot on their plate about now. I hope the company doesn't move into their living room. :D

Of course all the places they are looking at are farther away from us then his office currently is which could add an additional 10-15 minutes of commute time (going from 8.5 miles to 15 miles or more) and possibly necessitate freeway travel. That is going to make sharing one car extremely difficult. So much so that I don't think we will be able to do it. And we've been sharing one car for 6 years now. I don't really want to think about that, because a new car isn't in the budget right now, so we will have to get a beater car. And if we get a beater car, then we'll get stuck in car inertia, so I'll never get a new car and continue to be kicked in the ribs and kidney through my car seat by my 3 year old. That child (who obviously I love dearly, BTW) cannot keep his feet down at home or in the car for love nor money. Drives me nuts. Drives DH even more nuts.

Good Gravy, I just can't seem to get anything typed anymore!

I started on the French Market bag and I hope to have the contrasting bottom completed before the week is out. Actually hopefully it will be done before Wednesday. I've already knitted enough that I have moved it to the circular. Did I mention I much prefer dpns? I know many people think it is "like knitting with a porcupine" but I think the needles on the circulars are too short. But I do like my addi naturas though. If you need to use a circular... Maybe after I have knitted a whole bag on them I will get into the groove of the circular thing.

Now that Passover is done for the year, perhaps it will be easier to sit down and do things, we'll see. I'm starting to try to declutter, but when you are married to a packrat that is no easy matter. Moving is in our near future since our 1BR apartment is officially outgrown, so no matter what happens, come August and the expiration of our lease, we will be heading on to at least a 2BR place. So As things are put away, I'm trying to pack them up for moving (For example, when Passover was finished, instead of just folding up the box flaps, they got taped securely with packing tape and the dishes wrapped more carefully then if they were just going to sit in a closet for another year. Another example - kid's clothes and "winter" clothes.)

Oh, and the camping bug has bitten. We visited some friends at their campsite this past weekend (It was near enough to drive for just a short visit.) and, even though it was rainy and chilly, I really loved it. We used to camp for weeks at a time when I was a kid and I miss it. I don't know how my husband would do though. I have mentioned that it is sometimes like being married to the Princess and the Pea and I'm not joking. He enjoyed the last time we camped (many years ago) but he was much younger and we only were there 2 nights. He never had to take a shower or anything out of doors or at the camp showers. I think that a camper would be just about a necessity for him. What's more, we have a number of friends who have a camping "group" and organize many group trips throughout the season and it would be a blast to join them.

Oh and I am so glad that The Apprentice is over. It has been SO LONG since I was addicted to a TV show and I somehow got sucked in. No more! You hear that Mark Burnett and Donald Trump? My only TV will be Arrested Development from here on out, and even that will be on an "Oh is that on? I like that show a lot." basis. Not that I have to worry. Since it is so intelligent and funny it is bound to be cancelled. Happy week!

Long Time, No See

My trip was long and exhauting and I am back only to (a) get sick immediately after being sick for at least 1/3 of my trip and (b) get ready for Passover, so my time is stretched thin. Hence - no updates. There is also no knitting to report at all. No time to do it.

But here are some pictures for anyone who is interested.

First some pictures of Ezra and his Papa and Safta







And then there is Purim! Ezra wore the American Indian (Native American) costume Safta made for Ezra's Aunt Penny 20ish years ago. He wouldn't wear the headband or any of the beads. But we did get the pants and shirt on him, so that's something.





And then here are some of the pictures from my dad's house with his cousins. I could have sworn I took more pictures than this. Weird. First here is a picture from Grampy's front yard where Ezra fashioned an adirondack chair with a sunshade for himself.





And now the pics with the cousins.

Here's Ezra and Karllie:



Ezra and Dalton



And Ezra and all his cousins

We're leaving on a jet plane

And I know exactly when I'll be back again - almost 3 weeks. Yipes! What was I thinking? It seems like such a short time when we're trying to figure out how to divvy up our time between families, but a very very very long time when I think of how long we'll be away from Michael and home.

Anyway, so we're off. I will try to post while I am out of town, but I am giong to guess that won't be as easy as I'd like it to be.

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that I finished the Fuzzy Feet. The bad news? I cannot stand them. First they shrunk too small for DH's feet. I don't know why since DS's socks that I felted did not shrink that fast at all. Oh well. I decided I would adopt them. Ugh they fit all funky. They look great though. After wearing them awhile, I realized they were stretching a bit and maybe DH would be able to wear them after all. Well, yes and no on that too. They have now stretched to where he can wear them, and he finds them uncomfortable too. Grrrrrrr. 2 balls of yarn down the drain. I'll post a picture of them later. I'm going to head over to the local Waldorf School shop to pick up some Lamb's Pride worsted for the red stripes in the Accordion sweater. I have given up on Elann ever replenishing their supply of that type of wool. I've been waiting for weeks now.

I keep dreaming of puffy blue winter coats for some strange reason. I couldn't figure out where they came from until I was in getting dressed in the closet this morning and realized they look identical to the new coat I bought for DS for when we go out of town (in 4 days!!!!!) I had no idea that coat made that much of an impression on me.

Speaking of going out of town, we are really starting to pick up speed on getting things ready. I've picked up things for DS on the plane. We have done this remarkable task of keeping him away from media and mass-marketed characters for years now, but I wanted to pick up a few small things like sticker books and things for on the plane and I was flattened by the fact that those are impossible to find without mass-marketed characters. So we ended up getting 2 Blue's Clues things - a sticker book and this little travel activity book thingy. I thought that it was simple and appropriate for kids at his development level. I also got Play-Doh. Both the Fun Factory and this tool set. He played with the Fun Factory for nearing 3 hours on Friday, so I have a good feeling about that one. I've put it away so it is slightly new again (to him) on the plane. That plus non-sugar snacks (peanut butter crackers, Clif Bars, fruit, GORP, almond butter and jelly sandwiches, bagels & cream cheese, string cheese, carrots and dressing) and of course cars and cards, a travel version of Chutes and Ladders, storybooks and a kids magazine. That should keep him busy for what 20 minutes? :)

Oh! Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. We had a pretty lowkey one. DH got me "A Mighty Wind: The Illustrated Songbook" and a program of the concert they gave in NYC to tape as the concert in the movie. It is so cool. We sang the songs all day yesterday. DS was as excited as I was because Kids Beatles and "A Mighty Wind" Soundtrack are his two favorite CDs. We made Daddy a card and the aforementioned Fuzzy Feet. D'oh.

I found it!

The 1st sweater that I really want to make for myself! It is in the Interweave Knits Spring 2004 issue Ah Gypsy Mesh! I also really really really like the Side to Side Ribbon Pullover. I have a feeling these are both going to be WAY to complicated for my current level of knowledge, but I'll never learn unless I jump in, huh? Of course I will be out of town when it comes out, but maybe it will be an excuse to check out the LYS where I will be and stock up?

I still haven't made much progress on the 2nd of the Fuzzy Feet. I'd guess I'm about 1/3 of the way through the stockinette before the decreases. I just haven't had time to sit down with it. But never fear, tonight is TV night as I have become disturbingly addicted to "The Apprentice." And I am SO not a TV girl, especially reality shows. But it is nice to have something to watch while I knit and this really is fascinating. I still can't bring myself to turn on Survivor though. I saw the 1st season. Well, about half of it, mostly toward the end. But I haven't watched it since.

I'm also planning on futzing with my layout soon. DH recently installed Dreamweaver on my PC, so I can update my own site rather than having to ask him to do it all the time. Maybe now I will be able to have the cool things I've been intending to have since the beginning!

The Cute Things They Say

or "Perhaps my kid is more media aware than we thought"

First some background. A few weeks ago, I stepped on one of those plastic penny whistles and broke it because Ezra had left it under a playsilk right next to the front door. Doc Martens + cheap plastic penny whistle = broken cheap plastic penny whistle. He was devastated.

Today he heard a song on the Kids Beatles tape that reminded him of the whistle and so he asked me to get him a new one. My DH tried to assure him that the next time we saw one at a store, we'd get it for him. Ezra said that he really wanted one now and DH had to try and explain that these weren't really all that common. (I mean, I don't even remember where we got the thing in the first place.)

Anyway after DH and I kept trying to convince Ezra that we really meant it when we told him we'd get him another one, Ezra suggested, "when we get home we should go whistle.com and get me a new one". I about had to pull the car over while DH and I composed ourselves.

So anyone think maybe I shop a lot on the internet? LOL

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In knitting news, since I learned how to do a turned heel (Thanks Fuzzy Feet author!) I was able to return to the knitted duck pattern from Toymaking with Children. The pattern there was pretty sketchy, basically cast on 21 in the round, knit 13 rows, turn as though turning a heel on 7 stitches, knit 9 rows Bind off and stitch to close. (or something like that. I'm doing it from memory) Now that I have some idea of what the pattern was talking about, I was able to figure out the pattern. Yay me! So all I have left to do is stuff it and sew it together and I will have a cute little duck that took very little time to make once I figured it out.

I also am past the turned heel on the 2nd fuzzy foot and it's just 10 inches of stockinette till I reach the toe decreases. I should be able to finish it today if I can sit and knit for any length of time. We'll see.

Waldorf and Me

Warning, knitting only mentioned in passing!

I mentioned a blog entry or two ago that I like Waldorf. Well, I suppose it is time for me to elaborate. I learned about Waldorf education even before I had a child and I like the general philosophy. I like the education of the whole person - hands, heart and head - I like the connection to the year, to nature, to art and music, to the spirit, etc. It is the big picture things that I seem to connect with and want to embrace. But then I get snagged by the not great things about Waldorf, like:

* Steiner and the controversies that surround him and the cult of personality that can wrap up those who want to preserve his vision wholly intact without allowing it to breathe and grow from the input of other inspired invididuals.

* The Jewish issue. If we were in Israel where the Waldorf Schools follow a Jewish festivals calendar, this would not be an issue. We are not, however. So between the festivals and the general populace at Waldorf Schools, it isn't a "Jewish" place per se. (Now there are Jews, even Jewish teachers, at Waldorf Schools, just not tons. And it isn't secular like public schools.)

* Waldorf Schools, in my personal experience, tend to be fairly insular. Meaning that it is mostly populated by upper middle class white Christian families and people from the alternative parenting groups nearby who are seeking an alternative style school when they do not choose to homeschool. Now I have no objection to seeking community among those who are like you, but sometimes it feels more elitist than community building based on my personal experience.

The two types of families that gravitate toward the Waldorf school then clash. Many times those who choose Waldorf because it is an alternative schooling method that fits their general alternative way of thinking tend to buy into the whole "Waldorf lifestyle" - no media, wool or silk everything, natural toys, knitting (!), needle felting, and generally over-intellectualizing and de-naturalizing in the attempt to be more natural and not over-intellectualizing our children (BTW, I fall into this group FWIW. I just say that so you don't read this so much as disparaging, but trying to paint a picture)

The other group feels some affinity with the lifestyle portrayed as the "Waldorf-ideal" but make little attempt to shape their daily lives around it. It is more of a "I want my kids to grow up surrounded by that" kind of mentality. Perhaps to offset modern life, I don't know. Plus the fact that Waldorf School graduates generally do pretty well if they want to get into "good" colleges.

----------

Anyway, back to more specifics. Last year we spend a year at the parent/child playgroup at our local Waldorf School. We had a great time, made a bunch of friends, enjoyed learning songs, crafts, etc. So this year we signed back up. It was a totally different experience. We left halfway through the first session, which was a very painful decision for us. We had to really examine our hearts to try to see what we were expecting and wanting from Waldorf education and the Waldorf School. Perhaps the experience failed because it was no longer taking us where we needed to go.

We also, around that time got involved with a Waldorf-inspired start-up preschool closer to home. The people there are lovely and extremely warm and inviting and I want so very much to help there, but I am finding it difficult to connect there. I know that it is totally me. We belong to a playgroup, we go to this preschool on the Tuesday afternoon handwork group days and we do random park days with friends, but we have virtually no Jewish friends. We can't find a synagogue that fits us. One has a decent service, but nothing for kids (12 miles), one is WAY too far away (20 miles) and has very little for kids, one is fairly close (5 miles) and has stuff for kids, but is reform, which we are definately not. There are others, but they are all at that farthest distance away (20ish miles) And of course they are in areas we could not possibly begin to be able to afford (we're talking $500,000 for a 2BR condo)

Anyway, my point is, if I have one, that we are growing away from Waldorf because of a real need to connect with people who are little more like us WRT the way we live our lives. Keeping kosher (and also vegetarian wouldn't be terrible), celebrating Jewish holidays, learning Hebrew, etc etc. I suppose much of this came to a head recently when we attended the baptism of my best friend's baby (Her 4yo son is Ezra's best friend which works out nicely) I realized that the last time Ezra had been to synagogue was at Yom Kippur! And I realized if it was important to me, then I'd better get off my butt and do something about it.

One Down one to go

Well, although I mentioned the other day that I had finished the 1st one, I forgot to take into account that I screwed up the pattern, so I had to frog it back to the correct length. It really doesn't look all that much different, which makes me wonder if I did in fact screw it up, but whatever. I ripped it, reknitted it and it is officially completely knitted. And it is still HUGE. Here's photographic evidence. DH wears a size 11 shoe, FWIW.



I cast on the 2nd one during the Superbowl, but I haven't had a chance to get to it yet. I frogged during the day, knitted at night. I'm going to bring it with me on our adventures today, but I don't know that I will get to it. We have storytime at the library today and then I plan to go to the park with a picnic lunch. Ezra is very very three these days and hopefully running it off with other kids will help. Hopefully.

Also on the agenda today is buying parsley seeds for Tu B'shevat. We'll just plant in a pot and then we'll have parsley for our seder plate. Cool huh? Well, I'm off to play Aleph Bet matching with DH and DS.

Finally - some knitting!!!

So I started on the Fuzzy Feet. OMG the booties are HUGE!!! I just finished the 1st one last night while I watched Meet Me in St Louis (That was the 1st musical I was ever in. It was based on the movie and was decades before the one that hit Broadway.) Anyway, I'll post a picture of it on DH's foot later so you can see how truly big it is. It really doesn't take that long since it is knit on 10.5 (6 1/2mm) needles. I did have to learn a new heel technique though. This is a turned heel, I've only done the waste yarn square inset variety. The directions were a touch confusing, but then I figured it out and it was a breeze.

Around this time of year for some reason (and it has been the last two years and this year as well) I start to attach more to my Jewishness and start to mentally separate from Waldorf ideology. (Have I mentioned that I am a fan of much of the Waldorf philosophy of child education?) Not so much as to throw it out completely, but it goes on the back burner while I focus elsewhere. We've been working with Ezra a bit on Hebrew lately (great website BTW Children's Ulpan) which means my Hebrew has to get up to speed. A lot of my education energy has been focused there. Soon it will be on Pesach and the 4 questions. And IÂ’m less and less concerned with discouraging interest in letters and words as he shows interest. While I havenÂ’t regressed to workbooks yet (haha, that would be REALLY unlikely) I do answer his questions rather than try to redirect. So, suffice it to say, I am back on the Hebrew learning track. I'm about the speaking level of a 3 year old I'd guess. Well, maybe a slightly delayed 3 year old.

Swatching

Finally I am swatching for the Fuzzy Feet. I am swatching on straight needles, but the swatch seems to be coming out correctly (whew) So I will pick up the dpns for it this afternoon on the way to go and get my DH from work. I'll probably get started on the Fuzzy Feet on Saturday night. I remember back in the day when I used to have exciting plans on Saturday nights. Ah no more! :)

I have a boatload of cleaning to do today to get ready for Shabbat and the weekend and I have a playdate with Ezra this afternoon, which means I have about 2 1/2 hours to do everything I need to do to get ready so that we can go and have our playdate and then go and buy my needles, then pick up DH at work and then head home for dinner, etc.

On the agenda for the weekend: Shopping!!!! Now I know most women love this sport, but I am so-so about it. I need to buy shoes. Last time I tried it I had a miserable time and never could find a good pair of shoes so after about 6 weeks of looking I settled on fairly non-supportive Teva's that, if not fabulous and supportive, were at least on clearance and cheap - $17. While doing all that shoe shopping (which included trying to buy shoes that were supposed to be custom fitted to my foot - haha) I never found anything, but DH found 2 pairs of shoes that totaled about $200. My problem is I have wide feet, but an odd shoe size (9.5) and they are generally just wider than standard wide, but not wide enough for Extra wide, if and when you can find it. So off I go this weekend to try to buy decent shoes again because my arches are falling and I want to stop that and give them support before I have to buy orthotics at $300/pair!!! Yikes!!! I may be the only woman I know with only 3 pair of shoes. 1 pair of black heels that I have worn twice in 6 months, 1 pair of Doc Martens, about 8 years old, that need to be restitched, and the aforementioned Tevas.

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!


You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Destroy my sweater?

Oh my! Just as I am about to start on Accordion, Leigh, who designed it for Knitty, is frogging it! Not a good omen, I've got to tell you.

So tomorrow I am going to buy some 10.5dpns to get started on the Fuzzy Feet. I'm so jonesing to knit that I was practicing yarn overs at the park the other day. Just pathetic! I have knitted the same several yards of this yarn probably 10 times either in swatching or practicing in the last week. And I still haven't found another yarn for the contrasting color yet. And I look every day. I need a stash. Besides the little bits of leftover balls from previous projects, I mean. And I don't have too many of those either.

Not much to report

No knitting content since I am still looking for a replacement yarn for the Gooseberry Sierra that clashes with the MC on Accordion. On the plus side, I decided to make the Fuzzy Feet from last winter's Knitty for DH with the gooseberry. I think it should felt up fine since it is a wool/alpaca mix. So I need to order another skein of the gooseberry and hopefully a color will appear in the new stock at Elann in a complementary yarn so I can get started on this sweater for DS.

Not much else in other news. It's just a slow couple of weeks. I'm not even reading anything. Mostly I'm just trying to declutter a bit. Our apartment is too small to hang on to this much junk. Happy Tuesday!

A little Ezra talk today

Ezra sees me write lists and notes from time to time and instead of drawing, he likes to "write." And here are some of his writing samples. I don't think this is what they meant for the college applications though.



He is also getting really good at recognizing numbers and Hebrew letters. He and Michael play Go Fish in the mornings now. It really is adorable. They also play matching with his Alef-Bet matching game. He is pretty darn good at getting the letters as well. I can't believe what a giant leap he has made on that front. From nothing (including no encouragement really) to being able to play games rather well that require him to recognize letters and numbers. He's also started to get really interested in street signs, etc. and wants to know what everything says. In English this is no problem, but when he picks up a Hebrew book, this is a little more challenging for me. I'd better start deepening my Hebrew skills, because while I can read (slowly) and of course know my alef-bet, I am no better than your average kindergartener in vocabulary and reading skills.



And here is a picture from when we went to the park last month, just because I thought you might like to see it. Shabbat Shalom!

Good News and Bad News

I've been waiting patiently for my yarn to arrive from Elann and tonight I finally got my hands on it and I open the package and the colors are not quite what I got from the colors shown. The Oak is more purple than I had imagined and it totally clashes with the Gooseberry I had gotten for the stripe. Grrrrrr. So now I have to reevaluate. Should I make the same sweater, but with camel stripes? Should I make a different sweater altogether? The yarn is a little itchy though and a cardigan sweater will probably be a better choice since it won't be worn next to the skin. Or should I return it all, get a credit there and wait for something I truly love to show up? I think I may just do that.

OR I could make the French Market bag from the current Knitty and then return the remainder. I bet this stuff will felt up very nicely. Of course I'll need some new needles - a 32" size 7 circular. And then I could just troll ebay for yarn to make DS a sweater.

At least he has his socks now. They came out of the washer nice and fulled and fitting his feet perfectly and now slightly warmer since the stitching isn't as open. He loves them and wanted to wear them around the house as soon as they came out of the washer - still wet.

Have you ever heard a tree buzz?

Yeah, I hadn't either until I was coming home from the store yesterday morning with Ezra and heard the oddest buzz. This whole tree appeared to be buzzing.



Since we have had early rain and unseasonably warm temps (in the high 70s and low 80s) these trees have bloomed early and are filled with hundreds of thousands of tiny little yellow flowers and yesterday morning, being the bright and sunshine-y day it was, each of those flowers seemed to have its own bee collecting pollen. So as a result, the entire tree seemed to be buzzing like a giant yellow porch light. :) It was really amazing.

We also bought a new couch. Well new to us. Our old sofa was a 2nd hand sofa as well and had seen many better days. We continued to have it cleaned, but it never looked clean anymore, even the day after a cleaning. So on Thursday morning we were at the DMV renewing our licenses and right next store is the nicest Salvation Army I've ever been to. Really nice sofas and other things. At least 2 of the sofas were mint condition handmade ones and many were in beautiful condition. We got this one on sale for $69.



It is so much nicer than our old one and appears to be in new condition. I can't believe our luck. So it came to live at our house this weekend and we have welcomed it with open arms.

In knitting news, I'm starting to have 2nd thoughts about Accordion Mostly because Ezra likes to unzip his jackets and so pullovers are easier to keep on him. And yet I really love the look of this sweater. And I do have the yarn already on its way. Is it normal to have second thoughts about a sweater before you start it? Kind of like weddings? (Although, TBH, I never had wedding jitters. Maybe I was too busy?) I'm also willing to take suggestions for cute pullover boys sweaters.

What a week...

Well, long weekend then. I came down with the stomach flu on Thursday afternoon and have just begun to return to my former self. I will spare you all the details, but suffice it to say, I spent the last few days in one of 2 places and bed was the primary place. I'm off to the chiropractor this morning to see if he can put me back together after laying in a horrible bed for the last 4 days.

On the plus side, our car is feeling better after having had $890 worth of work to it (actually $960 but we had a coupon.)

I haven't knitted or even thought about it since I ordered the yarn from Elann on Friday morning. I already had it in my shopping cart so all I had to do was Paypal it as soon as DH gave the OK from the bank account's standpoint. :) Anyway, more when I am back to normal. Maybe I'll be able to eat something today...

Socks, part 2

So I thought I would take another picture of these socks I am doing for Ezra. I mean, it is another knitting project, but TBH, it would look like a smaller version of the socks photo I took of my own, including where I am on the project. I was in the car tonight waiting for DH to make his way out so we could go home. I had gotten there about an hour too early because Ez fell asleep in the can, as I suspected he would. Anyway, I pulled out my knitting, turned on the radio and knitted to All Things Considered and Marketplace just mindlessly SS-ing away in the round when I looked down and was shocked to discover that I had finished several inches of knitting! So I stopped short and set it aside since I hadn't brought the other socks with me to check the length to see if they were even. I was sure I was going to have to rip out several rows. But luck was on my side and I stopped at exactly the right spot, so I can continue on with my decreasing and tomorrow I will have a toe on this sock and will be able to move on to the heel as I wait in the DMV to renew my driver's license.

In produce news today, our CSA basket picked back up after their brief winter break. And apparently strawberry season has arrived because I bought 2 of the most beautiful packages of strawberries there today as well.



Absolutely amazing! Red all the way through and as a friend said, "Wow! These taste as though they are stuffed with sugar." Ah Camerosa strawberries. One of the benefits to spending $1100 on a tiny 1BR apartment for a family of 3. Actually, should we ever leave this state, the fresh produce is the thing I will miss most after the friends I've made.

The rest of the day was spent at the park hanging out with our friends in this extremely unseasonably warm weather. Yesterday it was 80F and today it was 75. So we played in the sand, on the swings and the slides and Ez with his Razor Scooter until he was so tired he was ready to fall over. Did I mention he decided that 4am was a reasonable time to wake up this morning? Yawn.

Ugh. Cars.

Our car is feeling rather poorly right now. It started acting up over the weekend and we had hoped to take it in this morning, but of course the dealership couldn't squeeze us in so Ez and I have another day stuck at home tomorrow. We are staring in the face of a possible $700 in repairs. We need the oxygen sensor(s) replaced. Since we are in California we have California emissions and therefore an additional oxygen sensor. It has crapped out because our head gasket is leaking and needs to be resealed. That is $150 each O2 sensor, $130 for labor, $220 for resealing the gasket. So $700 with tax. That isn't counting a possible fuel/air sensor at $225 and the oil pan gasket leak at $370. Hopefully it is only one of the O2 sensors and not both. And this is a 1997 Camry with only 85K miles. Of course the warranty expired 2 months ago, but I'm not sure the O2 sensors would have been covered anyway.

Enough about cars. Susan and Amy Stewart (!) left me a note about a really cool site (and project) called CityWorm Knitting and worms, I swear there is a site out there for everyone. It is just amazing. She also has a pattern to knit a worm. A red wiggler of course! Don't forget the yellow belly! Maybe we should have a worm knit along?

So, I've cast on the 2nd grey sock for DS. I'm tired of the grey and my heels could look better. I'm having a problem cleaning picking up the additional stitch when I pull out the waste yarn to put in the heel. So I end up with, well, not exactly a hole, but a very wide stitch. I think I'm going to take it in to my LYS when I get to the heel part and have them check out my technique. Can't hurt. Any suggestions or BTDT experiences? And this is it on this grey yarn. I am making Accordion in Oak with Gooseberry and Camel stripes.

So this evening I finished DS's 1st sock. And it fits him. Yay!! Now I have to make a 2nd that is the same size and we'll be in business.

We went to a neighborhood park today after lunch and had a wonderful time playing in the sand and sliding, etc. I read a bit and finished my book. I also found out that the author, Amy Stewart, has a new book and a new blog. I haven't seen the new one yet, but I am interested in vermicomposting and one of these days even plan to get one (a vermicomposter, I mean), once I have a garden to use it with.

In stash increasing news, I have decided on some yarns for Accordion and now I simply have to wait for the funds to be made available (i.e. payday :) ) And then I can get started. I really want to have the materials before we go out of town so that I have something to work on on the trip. Which reminds me, does anyone have any traveling with knitting (and preschoolers!) advice? I'm sure I will be using circulars, but who knows.

Speaking of traveling, I am going to have to buy DS his very first winter coat. I'm hunting through eBay for a good, cheap deal on a decent, preferably Land's End since they fit DS best, coat. Buying new off the rack is silly since he will use it for about 2 1/2 weeks this winter while we are in Tennessee. And then back to SoCal where it will sit in the closet. Unless we brave a trip to Big Bear or Lake Arrowhead this winter, which I doubt will happen.

A few stray thoughts before Shabbat

1st the recipe for Pletzel

Onion Pletzel

From Spice and Spirit, altered by me

Dough:
1 cup warm water
1 package dry yeast (1 1/2 tsp SAF instant yeast)
2 tsps sugar
1 tsp salt
2 1/2-3 cups flour (1 c whole wheat 1 1/2-2 cups unbleached white)

Topping
1/4 cup margarine, melted (I used Earth Balance non-hydrogenated. No trans fats!)
1 cup chopped onion
2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp salt

USE: 2 9" round cake pans
YIELDS: 2 rounds

(I poured all the dough ingredients into my bread machine and ran the dough cycle.) Otherwise mix as you would any other bread dough.

After it has risen. split into two pieces. Flatten into sprayed 9" cake rounds. Spread 1/8 cup melted margarine into each round on top of the dough and then top with the chopped onion. Press the onion in with your fingers. Let rise another 45 minutes. Sprinkle with paprika and additional salt. Bake in 450F oven fir 20-25 minutes till browned. Cool in pans on wire racks. Best eaten warm.

I did about 5 rounds on the socks last night and decided to read instead. I am rereading my favorite gardening book called From the Ground Up by Amy Stewart It is funny and inspiring. I want a garden. We are in this small apartment just until August at which point I at least get a 2BR place. So, all of you who covet California, don't covet it too much. The cost of living here is TERRIBLE! Oh, sure we are able to play outside today in bare feet, but we have to do it on the little tiny strip of grass outside the steps from our upstairs 1BR apartment.

Finally some pictures!

First here are the socks with one still on needles



My very first sock on my now nice and toasty toes.



And last, Ez's new mittens on Ez himself.



Could he be cuter? He really likes his mittens. He wants to wear them constantly, and frankly it isn't that cold here. Today's high was 64 (although it was supposed to be 70) I have socks in the same grey as mine on needles for him now, and I tried them on him (at least around the ankles) so I know they will fit. I'm not crazy about the color, but I do love having handmade wool socks. Color will come next I guess.

Not much other than listening to A Mighty Wind over and over. DS loves it and requests it constantly. I have to admit that it is adorable listening to a 3 year old singing along to The Folksman's version of "Start Me Up." Actually more than adorable, it is down right hysterical. The other songs are mostly just adorable though.

Susan, I love Bookcrossing too. I have the Alerts Robot sending me emails whenever something is released. I've never had anything picked up although I have released a few, nor have I picked anything up, but I keep thinking about it just to have done it, KWIM? And a whole bunch were released at a Used Book Store not too far from DH's office and I am sorely tempted...

In other news, I cooked a lot today. Actually the last 2 days. Today I made pletzel (kind of a Jewish foccacia :) with onions and butter/non-hydrogenated margerine on top) and lipstick soup (beet and apple). The recipe for pletzel made 2 loaves, so I left one for our neighbors with heating instructions and DH looked at me like I was nuts when I told him. Is it weird to give homemade bread to neighbors just as a nice gesture? I thought it was a nice thing. Tomorrow's breakfast is homemade buttermilk biscuits and vegetarian sausage. And tomorrow's dinner is sukiyaki. I haven't had that in a long time, but we are trying to use up some of the stray ingredients in the house and it is something we both enjoy. I especially have a few vegetables to clear out before our CSA basket picks back up next week. We were on a 2 week holiday break with them which was good since we needed some time with the 4 heads of red cabbage that had gotten backed up in the fridge.

Speaking of the CSA, I splurged and got this season's 1st strawberries at the farm a few days ago. I can't believe how good the January strawberries were. Neither could the farm manager. Ez ate half a pint the 1st day!

WoolFrogger

That's me today. I took a guess at DS's foot size since he was asleep last night and DH was off working late and then picking up a friend from the airport. and I wanted to get something on needles and I only had wool for DS's socks. So I cast on a guess based on the pair of socks I made myself. Well, most of a sock later I decide to check it out on him and sure enough, it isn't even close. So, my sweet DS says "You can make them for Pokey! (Pokey is the doll I made him for his birthday. I made Pokey some booties last week because Ezra kept saying Pokey's feet were cold.) So instead I am frogging almost an entire sock minus toe and heel. *grumble*

BTW, Thanks to Alysia for the nice words! About the dpn's and socks. I've been knitting for somewhere between a year and a half and 2 years and for the 1st large part of that I did nothing but the basic garter stitch things from Toymaking with Children by Freye Jaffke. The only wool I bought was the Lamb's Pride available at our local Waldorf School store and the only needles I had where the ones I amde myself from dowels (size 10 1/2) and the birch ones I got at the school store (size 8) And then sometime about September I finally decided to chuck out the east cast on from Kids Knitting and learn how to really cast on. And so I learned the long tail cast on after much discussion at a local homeschooling group's park day with the several people there who knit or have done so in the past. I dabbled in knit on, btu I really didn't like that at all so I went and found the Vogue Knitting book at the library and used that to teach myself the long tail cast on.

Well, between that and doing the mistake rib scarf in the GGH Esprit for SIL, I really was feeling much more confident. And I also realized that looking at the illustrations of 4 needle knitting wasn't alarming me the way it used to. It just seemed logical, so I tried it out with the Lil Art Critic Beanie (Scroll down to the 13th Thanks again Alysia!) And after that, well, I was in! So for now I'm out of the horse and duck making guild and into socks and hats and *gasp* sweaters. Well, maybe I'll try my hand at the 4 needle duck again to see if I can figure out her instructions. They aren't exactly clear.

Now off to re-cast-on DS's socks...

A little Tv talk

Now, those of you who know me know that I am so not a TV person. At all. But I have a weak spot. Yes, it is the "House" reality series (plural) You know, 1900 House, Frontier House, Manor House. As a matter of fact, out of the clear blue sky I pulled out our tapes of Frontier House last weekend and watched the whole 6 hours. I just love Nate and Kristin. Heck, I love the whole Brooks family. But I digress. What prompted this post was the need to share with someone my excitement about the newest incarnation - Colonial House. I am SO there. Maybe I can have one of those counter things at the top of the page like people do for their weddings or the new year or something. Of course they will never top Frontier House, but I like them all. So May10-13 you can bet on what I will be doing.

In knitting news, did I mention that I finished the socks? They are so comfy and warm. Now I need to knit DS a few pair and, in addition, buy him a winter coat and some wool longjohns. Why you ask? Don't you live in Southern CA? Ah yes, but we are going to visit Nashville in 5 weeks and it is seriously cold there. Right now it is in the teens. The TEENS! Brrrrrrrrrrr. I think I will need some legwarmers too. And my wonderful Weekend Knitting book has some.

BTW, I mentioned it in the comments, but I do have a link button you can put on your site if you want it. Look at the lower right hand side. Yes all the way down in a very out of the way place. That's it, you found it. Now I'm off to tape 24 for DH. I think I'll cast on DS's socks tonight since I have no desire to watch 24 with him. So I'll just sit and keep him company as I focus on my knitting.

Dandelion Days...


Dandelion Days is a Waldorf inspired preschool that we are associated with. We've met some very wonderful families there and gotten to know others we already knew even better. On Tuesdays we head over there after the preschool lets out (Ezra doesn't attend the preschool yet) so that we can attend the handwork group. It's just a small group of moms that get together and mostly knit, but other crafts have been done as well. The kids play in the gorgeous yard and inside with the toys while the moms sit and visit and get some work done while we all share tea and often a snack. It is one of the highlights of my week. I've helped several of the moms either learn to knit or taught them new skills. It isn't like I'm this expert knitter, but I'm at least considered intermediate.

More later, gotta run.

Wow, DH has been busy!

He added comments and fixed some other things. I've been meaning to start a blog for awhile, but just haven't had the gumption to actually do it. Plus all the web editing software is on DH's computer, so I was on my own with html. Not a pretty sight (or site )

Anyway, onto other topics, otherwise known as knitting. I am thisclose to finishing the socks. I have to reduce and then kitchener stitch in the toe and then add in the heel, which I will probably do tonight after DS is in bed. Pulling out the waste yarn means I need to be able to concentrate and having to keep up with DS means no concentrating for any extended period at all. I desperately need more yarn since I don't really have any to work with. I have a few things at Elann in my cart to make Accordion and also to make a pair of socks. I am also coveting some Cherry Hill Potluck worsted at The Knitting Garden I like the Jeweltones, but DS has requested Blues Purples for socks.

Oh and I took some photos today, but of course DH has the software to remove them from the camera on his computer, so I will have to wait until he comes home from work today so he can help me out. What I really wanted in my digital camera was a docking port on my computer, but I guess that was not to be.

Well, it is Monday and that means laundry day and also tidying up from the weekend day. Not that our apartment is huge, but because it is so tiny, and we have so much stuff, it gets cluttered and overwhelming really quickly if I don't stay on top of it.

So how do you like my new blog?

DH made it look all cute. Thanks Hon!!! Now all we have to do is get photos taken of my current WIPs. I have some mittens for DS made from bulky leftover stash and some socks I am knitting for myself. Both the patterns are basically from Weekend Knitting, but the mittens are altered in size and lightly in style so they fit and suit my 3 year old. The socks are almost an exact replica of the Jazz Socks from the book, color and all, which just worked out coincidentally since I made them from the rest of a skein of yarn from another project.

In pics from the past, here is a photo of my SIL holding my little bug and opening her scarf knitted in a mistake rib out of GGH Esprit. It was so amazingly soft that she's lucky she came in town or she may not have gotten it!



Oh, and that's a picture of me down in the bottom corner over there in case you were wondering.
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