Love Thursday

I love

-post bath candlelight bedtime with the boys

-seeing DH more now that he works closer

-making new friends

-Peet's caramel lattes - now 10 cents cheaper!

- B's toddler words
pum-pum pumpkin
birbee birdie
Ama Mama
Mama for Daddy (I'm sure that'll get straightened out!)
and a brief appearance halfway through Trick or Treating on Tuesday night that was some approximation of trick or treat, but untypeable and probably will never be repeated again. and speaking of...

-Trick or Treating with the boys. OMG did B have a blast. who knew a 20 month old would enjoy that so much. Z loved it too. He really got into discovering the neighborhood with us and was bummed when we canvassed all of the neighborhood we intended to.

-freshly roasted pumpkin seeds

-luminaries. I had no idea I liked these so much!!! They made our front path look so inviting though.

A week off

So Ez has had this past week off from school for Fall Break. We've had fun painting and keeping house and we even got to go to where Daddy's new office is gonig to be and help lay out chalk lines for where the desks are going to be. I think he's going to be a combo of bummed and glad to be back at school on Monday. They are actually going on a field trip to a farm on Monday, so that should ease the transition. And then there is Tuesday - Halloween. They are having a costume parade on Tuesday morning followed by their first Integrated Arts Day. I have no idea what that entails exactly, but I guess I'll know soon enough. The boys are going to be train engineers for Halloween - Ez's idea. The plan is also to turn the Sit N' Stand Stroller into a train engine with the aid of a large cardboard box. We'll see how that turns out. If that turns out.

Challah Boys

Challah Boys
Originally uploaded by woolfairy.

Thought you'd like to check out the latest Flickr pics

Well, I think I'm back at blogger. Xanga just wasn't working out for me. And I figured out my blogger problems (which involved self-hosting and a wonky template)

For a Z funny, try this one out:

Z has been battling (along with his brother before him and his mother after him) Hand foot and mouth. The mouth sores *really* hurt and keep you from eating and make you feel generally awful (and I can tell you this from current experience) Anyway, this is what he said the other day:

I'm telling on G-d for this. I'm gonna tell Moses!

Kids are funny.

Just a test

Just seeking if this works

I am mostly posting over at Xanga nowadays since blogger hates me, but I wanted to do a shout out to myself because I have FINISHED the French Market bag (that I had to put on hold all through my pregnancy and which I never really returned to after B was born.) And all of a sudden I am in a knitting renaissance. Now that I finished it, I finally feel cleared of all that dead weight and I have all these new project ideas. And what's more, I actually like the bag, so I will use it (I thought I would never want to see it again, but felting it changed everything)

Now on to some baby socks and longies...

New Babies are Time-Consuming!

I know that seems like saying that the sky is blue, but I really forgot how little time I have to do things, especially if they involve typing. Plus I have a few IRL projects going on that I really need to finish up this weekend and get into the mail - late as usual.

Bobo is a busy baby, he isn't quite 4 months yet and he is starting on the path to crawling. He scootches all over the house backwards in an attempt to go forward! I keep rescuing him before he disappears under furniture. He can get across a big room in minutes. He passes toys hand to hand, has a tooth and blows raspberries like he's Archie Bunker. lol.

Ezbug is busy too. He's ready for school although kindergarten isn't ready for him yet (His birthday falls 10 days past the cutoff) and DH and I don't know what to do about it. We can't afford preschool, especially the JCC's or WSOC's, and even if we could, we have missed the enrollment period and now we would be wait-listed. *sigh* I try to be busy with Homelearners, but because of the Lact-Aid, it is hard to be out for any length of time. We did Disneyland the other day before the passes went black for the summer and nursing is SUCH a hassle out of the house. Warming the thing up, getting a good position to nurse in where I can juggle a wiggly baby, a tube to put into said baby's mouth and of course large nursies, which don't help at all. And don't forget keeping an eye on a 4 1/2 year old. It sure would be easier to have people come over to play more, but that doesn't seem to be working out well. I don't know if people just feel uncomfortable meeting at people's homes or if it is just my home, but it sure would be awesome if I could get that.

One of my best friends and I have started to drift apart because our kids, who used to be very close, no longer have much in common. Ezbug loves his friend dearly, but there is an 18 month difference in their ages and his friend is much more into computers and TV and video games, etc and we don't have the same access to thos things as his friend. We aren't completey 100% media free here in our house, but Ez watches maybe a hour of TV a week at most (and that is entirely Blue's Clues or Dora) and he is very occasionally allowed to play on the computer (paint program usually or a music game at VMK).

Baby's awake. More later. Maybe in a week or two. LOL

I haven't totally disappeared

I just keep losing posts and even entire temmplate updates when I try to publish. Either I try to post when everyone else at Blogger is or I just need to move this darn blog somewhere else. Boo!!!!!

Everyone is well. Boaz is growing like a weed. So is Ezra for that matter. We're heading over to Disneyland tonight to catch the parade and fireworks since Michael will be home earlier than usual due to E3 going on in LA. He went, he saw, he was bored. At least he didn't pay $50 for parking. Yikes! He got the last $10 spot in the Convention Center lot (literally. They closed the gates after he drove in) But they sized up the competition and saw what their publisher is doing to promote their game.

No progress on the milk supply thing yet

I didn't figure there would be. We had major supply issues with Ezra and I guess it is my lot to need to supplement. But at least there is something like a Lact-aid or SNS so I don't have to give up altogether.

In preschool news for Ezra, registration at the JCC was during the time when I was 40+ weeks pregnant and had a newborn, so of course we missed it. And now they are full up for next year. Not that we could afford it anyway. Unless the whole school voucher thing is revisited and implemented, it will be public school for Ez. Blech. Best case scenario on that front: public Waldorf charter school. Or homeschooling. Pretty much all of our friends are doing it. We are involved with a homeschooling group that has many of his friends in it so that is something. Downside? We're the token Jews. We are so distanced from the Jewish community here that I have actually given thought to moving back to Los Angeles so we can be involved with the Jewish community there. But then DH would have a hellacious daily commute (1 1/2 hours each way) and that isn't good for our marraige or our children. We had gotten involved with a lovely Modern Orthodox shul there before we moved here and would love to pick back up.

Purim and Other Stuff

So Friday was Purim and I overdid it this year what with having a baby 3 weeks ago. Ezra and I made Shaloch Manos for a few friends (I didn't go insane with it this year. I scaled way back from my intentions.) We even got a Shaloch Manos from DH's Aunt Ellen. Ezra was tickled to get one. It does make me wish we lived in a more Jewish area and therefore knew more Jewish people though. I have to struggle to come up with Jewish friends and acquaintences that live within a driveable (for a 3-week old) distance. Around here it is because we can't seem to find a place that fits our needs that we can afford anywhere near an Orthodox shul. And while we aren't frum by any stretch, that is where we are most at home.

Which brings me to Purim night. Since Purim is a holiday where we can drive and is kid-friendly, we took full advantage and went to Chabad where there was much going on. They had a theme night and had singing, karate demonstrations, someone doing kanji writing (basically phonetically calligraphing the kids' names), skits, etc. Plus there were kids to play with and of course the megillah reading complete with noismaking (and the Rabbi read it faster then I've ever seen before - 17 minutes!!!) Ezra had a blast. An absolute blast. He dressed in an Israeli policeman's uniform costume that my SIL sent him from Israel which arrived about 30 minutes before we left for megillah reading. She has a photo on her blog: http://members.cox.net/jenniewoolf/

As for Boaz, he seemed to do pretty well. And of course, everyone oohed and aahed over him. He is 3 weeks old after all! Who can resist that? We're still haing nursing troubles, but the difficult part is that he is not doing well on the formula supplement, poor kid. It hurts his tummy. So we're going to try a new one today and if this one doesn't work out, we are going to explore donor breastmilk. We've had a volunteer, and I may take her up on it. In the meantime, I'm going to try some herbal things in addition to the domperidone to try to increase supply. Wish me luck.

Nursing Difficulties v. 2.0

So, for those of you who have been keeping up with our nursing struggles, today we got put on supplementation by Dr. Bob (Sears for those of you who don't know me personally). *sigh* So I picked up a Lact-Aid today and we had our first feeding with it about an hour ago. And the baby took about 2oz from the supplementer (Obviously I don’t know how much from me) and passed out cold. A nice change from the frustration he gets at the breast, especially in the evenings.

We were put on supplementation because Boaz only gained 1 oz in a week, not a good gain by anyone’s estimation. Michael is actually having a harder time with this than I am, believe it or not, probably because I have been feeling it coming and he has been extremely committed to not feeling it coming. But he isn't at the other end of the nursing pair and doesn’t feel the frustration that I feel from Boaz when he is hungry and not feeling satisfied.

Anyway, I may be in denial about this, but it mostly feels like I’m okay with it, well, as much as I can be. And the good news is – I am experienced with at-breast supplementers, so there is a significantly lower learning curve for me then there would be for someone else. Plus, I know I can do it long-term and continue on to have a good toddler nursing relationship sans supplementer. There will be bad days and emotional issues as there were with Ezra I am more than sure, but I do what I can do, right?

Our Baby is here!

And he has a name: Boaz! Of course when it was announced at his bris yesterday we didn't get a single "Wow, what a cool name!" But we did get quite a few "Boaz, huh?"

He was a big fellow - 10lbs, 8oz and 23 inches long - and we had some minor shoulder dystocia, but he was born at home after a very quick and intense labor (1 hour and 20 minutes)

Anyway, that's all for now since my computer time is WAY limited, but I wanted to update!

B'Shaah Tovah

I would like to thank YajB for saying this in the last comments. I had forgotten that in all the fuss about induction and whatnot. In good time. That's when babies come isn't it? I have been forgetting one major thing in all of this - to trust my healthy body that Hashem has given me. I've been popping herbs and having NSTs and taking castor oil all to no avail with each new thing entered into with promise and ending with nothing. And I realized, there is one major thing missing here - trust.

I am trying to get outside influences to bring my baby and what I need to do is to truly believe that my body will do what it was made to do, and that is to grow a healthy baby and then to birth it b'shaah tovah - in good time. It isn't the atmospheric pressure or the cohoshes or the castor oil that will bring this baby - it is me. It is the body that Hashem gave me that has grown this beautiful strong healthy baby inside me and will bring him forth into the world when he is good and ready and when I am as well. My mother, under the influence of OA, used to tell me that she needed to "let go and let G-d." And this is the same thing. Trust my body, trust my baby, trust in G-d who made them both.

Here's a quote from Jewishpregnancy.org:

What many women find most challenging about birth is its demand that we
relinquish control and accept that G-d is orchestrating the process. Like life,
childbirth is a lesson in accepting our limitations, and shatters the illusion
that we control the situations in which we find ourselves. It is as though G-d
insists that we learn to let go of our attachment to seeing the results we want,
when we want them, and allow Him to guide us through the process of expending
pure effort instead. Birth can then become a lens through which we view our own
lives more maturely, more honestly.

So perhaps it is a good solid combination of learning to trust and learning to give up control. Because my efforts to date are examples of both not trusting and trying to grab control over something over which I have none.

Still Pregnant

Just thought I'd let you know since I haven't updated in awhile. There's been a touch of healthcare drama, but nothing dangerous, just more hoops to jump through. I tried a bit of acupuncture today to see if we can get this labor going. I'm already ripe and ready at 4cm and 90% effaced. My membranes are loose enough from the sides that they are unstrippable so it is strictly a waiting game at this point.

Come on baby!

Getting Closer

I can't believe that we are in the final stretch of this pregnancy. It has gone so quickly. Less than a month left till my due date (actual birth day is anyone's guess) We had an ultrasound on Friday that confirmed that I am, in fact, growing a little boy! Well, "little" is debatable! :) Ah well, big or tiny, he will be here soon enough.

We have spent this weekend preparing for this little one. We've cleaned out the car, although we ran into a little snag in getting it detailed. The wait is atrocious today. REALLY bad. Like 2 hours wait for just a regular car wash, forget about the extensive job we want done. So I may need to deal with it this week sometime.

We also bought (and assembled) the stroller, some clothes and receiving blankets, a Nursing Nest, a Medela Nursing Stool, and a few other minor sundries.

In sad news, we loaned out our CoSleeper to some friends and picked it up last night so we could assemble it here at home and it somehow got broken. One of the metal poles was quite severely bent where the latch should release. Sometimes it can be difficult to take down and I think they may have gotten overzealous in trying to get it down when they were done with it. I feel really bad for them, because they are in no position to pay for it, but then again, neither are we with the midwife expense and all. But that is $160 that needs to be spent. We got a lot of use out of that CoSleeper and expect(ed) to this time as well. I'm bummed because I already bought the extender legs to match ours and now I have the wrong color because it seems to be really difficult to get the CoSleeper in the original blue with white legs. So now I will have non-coordinating legs, which really is very minor though.

Preparations

We had our 35 week midwife appointment yesterday and all seems to be on course for our homebirth sometime after about a week and a half from now (!!!) Next week is our big appointment - the 36 week conference - where we go through all of the expectations for the birth, we go through the birth kit, the list of things that need to be on hand, etc for the birth, etc.

In preparation for that, I pulled out the scrapbook from my pregnancy with DS and went through the list we got from them. I'm sure there will be differences, but much of it will be the same. The part that made me laugh nervously to my DH is that all of it was supposed to have been completed by the 36 week mark. So this weekend on the agenda is getting the car cleaned thoroughly by a car cleaning place - the full detailing. If we are sticking another carseat in there, then it needs to be thoroughly cleaned, because I know what the seat under DS's looks like when we take it out. Can you imagine 2 carseats? Yikes! And when that is done, in goes the baby's carseat. Or at least the base from the carseat. And then it will only be our immediate family that can ride in our car. @ adults in the front, 2 carseats in the back and we are full up. Turns out I really *do* need a minivan. One of these days...

And we need other basic baby stuff too. For some reason I cannot find all of the receiving blankets from DS. And I had a TON. I gave a few to a friend, but I thought I had kept some. I guess not. So I need to shop for baby hats and receiving blankets.

And last, but not least, I am having a blessingway, or a Mama blessing. I was sure that since it hadn't come up by now, that it wouldn't, but sure enough, I got a call yesterday from my best friend and she is planning something. I'm pretty excited. So now the baby is on notice to wait until after the 12th of February. At least from BF! :)

Off to make breakfast!!

Some time alone

Don't worry, I'm not getting used to it. It may be my last time alone for YEARS. Actually it is very nice. DH, poor guy, has been working himself crazy finishing up some contract work so that we can pay off this homebirth and buy the baby things, etc. He's been putting in long days at the office and then longer nights at home, sometimes not getting to bed till after 3 in the morning. And I'm closing in on the end of this pregnancy, which is getting harder on me physically. I'm exhausted and the relaxin is wreaking havoc on my ankle, which had some ligament problems last year that resolved, but were reawakened by the hormone surge preparing my body for childbirth. IcyHot patches are my very best friend nowadays.

Anyway, those physical changes and stressors are par for the course and I mostly just live with them, but it is really slowing me down with my poor 4yo DS. I can't do as much, we don't go as many places, I can't walk very far and there is no way I can pick him up anymore. And he needs a touch more physical play than I am able to give him right now. And with DH being effectively out of the picture for a few weeks, including weekends, DS has been going nuts. But today Daddy is back and they are off in a mad celebration of that today with a huge day at the park bike riding and boat riding and swinging and climbing and all manner of things Mommy can't do much of anymore. And tomorrow is a Disneyland day. And if I even go, basically I will sit on my butt a lot because of this ankle. DS is very much in his element.

A good example of how quickly I peter out nowadays is yesterday. DH invited some friends over for Shabbat dinner. Not ever a big deal in the past. So DS and I went out to the Farmer's Market in the morning for asparagus and strawberries (one of the big positives of living in Southern CA, BTW), stopped at Trader Joe's for a few things and then on to Costco for 2 folding chairs we have needed to buy for awhile now. After that, I needed to rest for about an hour because I was EXHAUSTED. And then back to the kitchen for challah baking, food prep and cooking, cleaning up the dishes, etc. I worked for about 3 hours total. And when I was done (and DH was home) I was so exhausted and drained that I had to lay on the sofa for awhile and not do anything. We even did all the non-table specific Friday night stuff in the living room to give me more rest time. And many hours later (10pm) I brought DS up to bed and then lay on the bed upstairs to try to recover from my day of body abuse. It hurt to even make my way to the bathroom. Pathetic really. But after a good night's sleep, I woke up only midly aching from my workout yesterday and after an afternoon of doing nothing, I feel loads better.

Oh wait, I didn't do nothing! I get to mark one more thing off my to-do list - I finally ordered those darn cosleeper extender legs! :)

So how much have I gotten done?

I bought Biokleen and washed the baby clothes I have on hand.
I bought 2 dozen infant sized prefolds (I have a dozen here already.)

Other than that? Nothing. I looked at dressers and DH was horrified that they cost $200 (and these were Simmons changing table dressers on clearance!) Apparently he has been out of the furniture shopping loop for WAY too long. Of course he has strange notions of what things cost. I'll never forget years ago when I sent him to pick up the drycleaning and he was horrified that is cost about $20 for a suit, several dresses and a couple shirts. He was figuring on about $5.

And in baby news, apparently my midwife, who prides herself on rarely having been off in 18 years of midwifery, estimates our baby to be at about 8lbs right now based on butt size. In case you aren't keeping track, I am 34 1/2 weeks pregnant. In the last month, a baby generally gains 1/2-1lb per week. Is it possible for me to subsist on nothing but water and Rolaids Soft Chews (a girl's got to do something about heartburn!) for the next however many weeks and keep the weight gain in the new one down? Yikes. DS was 9lbs8oz and presented with both hands next to his (large) head, so I'm not afraid of a big baby, but I sure don't relish the idea of delivering a 12lb one. I'll have to skip all the newborn stuff!

In positive news on that front, DSIL has agreed to come when the baby is born for a few days to help out with DS. She will leave upon news that we are in labor and probably arrive after the actual birth, given that she lives in Atlanta and we live in Southern CA. But it will be nice having her around. Of all of his family, I know that she will be the best one to have around for this sort of thing. Hopefully mid-February. Maybe 38 weeks? Ack! Am I really that close? I only have 2 1/2 weeks until we are cleared for our homebirth. :gulp:

So I had this huge long post...

And Blogger ate it. They ended up going down during the time I had typed it, but I didn't know and submitted it to publish and lost the whole darn thing. Bummer. And it was a non-whining post too! So I'll try to recreate it as best I can. Well, sort of since I can only remmeber parts of it. 1st part:

Getting ready for the baby

I have a boatload of stuff to do and I am torn about how much I should do since I am a touch on the superstitious side thanks to being Jewish I guess. I don't want to bring too much into the house, but on the other hand, there are things we need ahead of time, especially since we are having this baby at home. Earlier this week I finally bought the carseat which is now in our dining room awaiting installation somewhere around 36 weeks. But there is much still to do, including:

• Buying both cloth diapers and wool to knit covers. Oh, and of course, knit those covers. Yikes.
• Buying the Sit N Stand stroller. We are actually going to do this a touch earlier then we really need to for the baby because we need a stroller to bring to Disney with DS and we may as well buy one that will be useful for awhile.
• Order domperidone from New Zealand (long story but suffice it to say, it would be nice to have on hand if I need it)
• Buy a sling.
• Buy a diaper bag. This is more important than you realize because I do not own a purse and haven't in years. First I used the diaper bag backpack from Lands End with DS and then when he was old enough to not need it anymore, I just tossed my keys and wallet in my pocket. I would do that now, but maternity clothes are notoriously devoid of pockets.
• Get in an array of herbal stuff for both baby and mommy, including wipes solution, sitz bath herbs, etc etc.
• Pick up cosleeper from friend who borrowed it and buy the extender legs for it since our bed is taller than the one we had with DS.
• Buy Bi-O-Kleen and do some baby laundry.
• Buy dresser/changing table so we have somewhere to put aforementioned diapers and newly laundered clothes. If we manage to buy this, it will be the only dresser we have in the house. Sad, huh? :) We used to have this awesome built-in in our dressing closet in LA and when we moved we no longer had a place to put it, but in our last apartment, we had a closet full of shelving that really made a dresser unnecessary. This place? We really do need a dresser although the closet is okay with shelving. But not if we have to add another person's clothes to it.

More later I suppose. Some company just dropped by and I should be sociable.