6th Birthday, another lost tooth and Solstice Walk

Here's Dad at the ocean. I've never been to a natural burm. It is seriously beautiful! The 2nd pic is Dad (Grampy!) and B

And B making a stone sculpture at the burm

Here's the birthday boy with his newly lost tooth. And, because he is rarely seen in these pictures, Michael! Here he is with Ezra making Paper Airplanes with his new book from Papa and Safta.

More to come. Presents were opened, but because it was 6:30 in the morning at the time, noone had the insight to grab a camera!

Non-Holiday Shopping

Nothing is worse than needing to shop for everyday items during the holidays. Ezra needed new shoes and new pants, so off we went to the mall because where else do you want to be in the middle of December. At least it wasn't a weekend. So here is the proud owner of new Stride Rite shoes (on sale. One of the pluses of non-holiday holiday shopping)





















Also, on a related note, any idea how hard it is to buy a present for someone who is right there and nosy as all get out? Yeah. It is difficult. But I did it and Ez will be getting a new shirt from Old Navy that he really wants as well.

Also purchased:
GapKids jeans and Khakis
More Time Moms Calendar (my 5th. I really like them)
Hanukkah Gelt
Old Navy shirts for B

And in other news. Presents are inching towards done. I started a doll sweater for Pokey. Ez's socks are almost finished. Trellis scarf is nowhere near done. B's socks are unstarted. Both kid's hats are unstarted. Michael hasn't made playhouse plans. Ez's sewing basket needs assembling (but is all purchased but the thread)

And my Dad arrives in town tonight!!!! Yay!!!

Stringing up the Hanukkah yo-yo's

And Hanukkah has arrived here at the house. Just in time too, apparently one of the other Jewish parents from Ezra's class is coming in today to make latkes and play dreidel and talk about the holiday. DH ended up hanging around to read a Hanukkah story to the class. Tomorrow is Divali with another parent. I think. Definately the Divali. Not so sure about the parent part.

Here are the yo-yo's in their place of honor. DH was worried about them looking a bit "garland-y" and therefore Christmas-y. I think they look great though and so does he now that they are in place.















Here is B helping decorate the sliding doors.





















And here is one finished sock and one on the needles for Z for Hanukkah.

















And a shot of the nature table moving into winter. Note the olive tree wands and the little mouse on the wood.

Winter Fairies and yo-yos

Here is one of the winter fairies of which I speak (the other was on his other arm.)















And then the yo-yos (not hung up yet)

















And look what came in the mail yesterday. Yep another project! This time B's new doll. You'll see I took the coward's way out and ordered a premade head. So sue me. I have a week to get it done! :)

















And, as a special bonus, I found my regular camera and figured out how to use it with my computer. You're welcome!

Busy busy busy

My hands have been very very busy the last few days. Mostly knitting but a little sewing as well. I've been sewing those yo-yo's that are so popular among crafty bloggers right now. I'm making Hanukkah themed ones and will use them to decorate around here.

And then the knitting. I am almost finished with DS#1's 1st sock. The heel is turned and I am halfway through the length of the foot. I can't take a photo because he's awake! Then I have the Mason Dixon Washcloth I just finished (but still need to block) for DS's teacher. Here's a photo:
















FO Report: Mason Dixon Washcloth-started 12/02/06, finished 12/6/06, for DS's teacher
yarn- Crystal Palace cotton chenille in yellow
needles- Addi Turbo circulars, size US8 24" and 4 skacel dpns, us size 8
notes- Seems to be knit a bit loose although according to gauge (at least at the beginning. I didn't check afterwards) Pattern error in round 24 (noted on the Mason Dixon Website)

And then there is the Halfdome hat from Knitty modelled by both of my boys!

















FO Report: Halfdome hat-for DH
yarn- Debbie Bliss Cashmerino
needles- Crystal Palace, size US3
notes- Made according to pattern for child size, realized it was way too big for my almost 6yo and made it longer to fit DH (I had intended to knit him one as well) I need to double check my gauge, although it seems to fall into line when I swatch.

So much for Holidailies

Wow. 4 days in and already I've missed a post. Poor DH. His computer was hit by an ugly trojan virus and so we've been working hard to rid him of it. And that's in addition to all the other things we did this weekend. Speaking of which, I got started on the socks for Hanukkah. Here's the 1st one on needles:

















I'm using Lorna's Laces in the "Watercolor" colorway. And I lucked out because I got some worsted from the same dyelot that I will knit hats from. I love it, although it looks slightly Mardi Gras color-wise to me.

In kid news, B went to the doctor again today. This time for some nasty splinters he had in his hand. Michael and I were able to get most of them out, but there was this one particular one that was really really deep and right at the bend of the knuckle. The doctor got it out really quickly though, so I do appreciate that! In trying to figure out where he picked up the splinter though, the only thing I could come up with that matched the type of splinter he had was the wood chips from that garden mulch. I've been meaning to get those all up anyway so I can dig the beds for spring planting, so I got out there this afternoon and cleared out most of the mulch (all I could anyway) from the main gardening bed. Once I amend the soil and dig it well, then I will work in some soil building compost and then cover it over with some more and then wait for spring planting. I am really looking forward to it!

DH's sister was kind enough to send money for the boys to have playstands built (by DH) this year, but we got to thinking, and if it is alright with her, we'd like to use the money to build them a playhouse outside instead. A friend has one for her kids and it is fairly simple and I think it will add quite a lot to the play value of our upper courtyard. Of course I've already dyed the playcloths for the playstands, but playcloths are always useful.

Lazy busy morning

There is so much going on around here that it is hard to get motivated to do any of it. At all. We were up late trying to save DH's computer which is being eaten by qhost trojan virus. And we have been busy at it this morning. We created a rescue disk from my computer this morning to try to save his. So it is going now and frankly I don't hold out much hope for him. Don't tell him. :(

I also need to do laundry and then take it to the laundromat to dry. Darn dead dryer.

Then go to the fabric store to buy fabric to make Z pants followed by a trip to the yarn store to buy yarn for socks for both boys.

There's also shopping. And the winter faire I had hoped to go to today (1 1/2 hours drive from here) and the Parade of lights at the Harbor this evening. Oh and the Farmer's market in Ojai tomorrow. And hiking. Meal planning. Shopping. Working on my Trellis scarf. Felting another project. Ironing. Maybe a concert tomorrow afternoon. Sewing. Other sewing (for DS's other gift) Hanukkah cards. Scrapping (which I am definately not getting to. The tooth scrapbook can wait until after the new year.)

:yawn:

What have I done so far? Washing two loads of laundry, dressing the children, feeding the children, dressing and showering myself (not in that order) and making a resuce disk.

Holidailies 2006 huh?

OK, I'll give it a go. If other people can succeed at NaNoBloPo, then I will give this a go. It'll be good discipline. If I make it...

It is a particularly busy month for me with Z's 6th birthday, Hanukkah, my Dad coming in town, school being out for 2 weeks, Dh being out of town, knitting, crafting, gift preparing (and buying) and so on and so on.

I'd better make a plan.

Did I mention I spent $175 today at Trader Joe's and there is nothing to eat in the house? Seriously. It is all in kosher meat, fish, frozen fruit for smoothies, fresh fruit and veggies and staples (like olive oil and Rice Dream) Makes me want to cry. And DH wonders where my grocery money goes. My cart was full too. Like overflowing-I-need-to-pay-now-because-I-can't-fit-anything-else-in-here-or-it-will-slide-to-the-ground full.

I have sock yarn to buy this weekend and hat yarn (and maybe Kureyon Kozy yarn. But that would be wrong. I have hats to make. and socks. and felted boxes. The tea pot is already warm.)

Love Thursday

She Knits Shiznits posts each Thursday what she loves. Today she asked about what we love. Here are a few of mine:

- working on a home craft with other women and feeling part of a community (like yesterday's dyeing)

- when DH reaches over to touch my shoulder when we are both working on our respective computers just to connect.

- peppermint mochas (made at home) and Peet's caramel lattes (made at, well, Peet's)

- Cold bring-out-the-sweaters weather.

- the joy on my toddler's face when he makes the huge jump from the coffee table to the sofa. (But don't tell him!)

- the bottom tooth-less grin on Z's face.

- finding a great treasure for the nature table

- children quietly and happily playing together

- Candy cane Joe's O's

I really need to remember I have a camera

I went to a dyeing party today to dye a couple of cotton playcloths that I bought and there was this beautiful clothesline full of rainbow colored playsilks and playcloths. But did I take a picture? Of course not. So once again, you are subjected to my almost useless (but shamefully overused) camera to see the 2 that I dyed today in much less attractive light. *sigh*















I made a purple-y blue and a green (for water/evening sky and grass/treetops) Now I need to iron them and put them away for Hanukkah.

It is amazingly windy around here today. So blustery in fact that drying the playcloths outside was extremely difficult as they kept flying away! But they did dry quickly once I got them pinned down. (so to speak. I can't actually pin anything down because clothespins do not last around here.) I keep waiting for our power to go out as it often does during heavy wind.

Now I have a few more projects to start and complete in the 2 weeks and 3 days until Hanukkah. I'd better get cracking I guess. At least I've ordered the supplies for the biggest of them...

MIA: Another tooth

Can you believe it? Tooth #2 is out only 4 days after tooth #1. and here is Z's self portrait of tooth #2 (or 2th as Z spelled it for the tooth fairy):
















In knitting news, there is no way at all that I will finish this for Lacevember. It just isn't gonig to happen. But I will get it done before the 1st of the year. I have a goal! This is Lacevember 2 days ago. I have 2 more repeats done on it to make a total of 12. Just over the halfway mark.


















By the way, I've found a new trick - a tiny piece of modelling beeswax (in red in my case) stuck next to the current row I'm repeating on the pattern. It moves easily, doesn't fall off as easily as a post-it and is red so that it draws my eye to it as I glance over to work the row.

Big day here at Chez Woofairy

First Z lost his 1st tooth!! About a month before he turned 6. Same as me!

















And then there were walnut boats! (See that north wind blow?)

More knitting... and a little not

So I have made 6 repeats out of 23 on this Trellis Scarf. I think it will be a valiant effort, but I am, perhaps, a touch over my head to try to finish this lace project in a month. Here are my current efforts:

















In other bits, the parent teacher conference wasn't the agony I thought it would be. Turns out the issues weren't as bad as we thought and the teacher is concerned about the few specific things we brought to her and will keep an eye out. In the meantime, we will keep an eye out for Z and his issues here at home. I firmly believe he has sensory issues on many levels that are contributing. I'm trying to keep the boys dairy free, which is proving to be a challenge because DH keeps forgetting and giving them things with dairy in them. I do know when B has cheese or regular milk or yogurt, he is up screaming throughout the night. I am allergic to dairy with special sensitivity to cheese (If I have any I get an immediate and sometimes severe headache) Have I mentioned I like cheese? ::grumble::

I did some good holiday shopping at the Elves Faire on Saturday. That place is such a joy! I look forward to it every single year and so does Z. More later. Off to do laundry and be Mommy!

Trouble in __________ City

a. Lace

Before I go in too deep let me say that I have overcome (?) and now have 5 repeats done, but not before needing to take a break after noticing a dropped stitch at least 1 repeat down. I haven't included lifelines in this piece because this yarn does not frog. It just breaks and knots. So I fixed it as best I can and am now working on accepting my imperfection. But I was mega-disappointed.

b. School

The last few weeks Z has been laothe to go to school. He bargains with me every morning to not go. The last two days I kept him home since I had the (admittedly weak) excuse of impetigo on his face. So we went to the school's Thanksgiving feast today and I had a disturbing (to me) conversation with another parent who helps in the class regularly (I can't since we don't have childcare for B right now) about how the teacher invalidates, ignores or is downright disrespectful to Z's feelings etc. She had several specific examples that sounded as unbiased as she could make them. (her characterizations of my son were fair but accurate to both his good and not so good characteristics) Apparently during "Magic Circle" (which is a time where the kids are encouraged to share their feelings with their classmates) many of the kids have taken to saying I like so and so (whoever they played with at recess that day) and one day a child named many many people in the class and left Ezra out and he said "what about me" in a hurt way and rather then acknowledging those feelings and helping him and the class through them and using it as a learning experience, she told him he wasn't allowed to comment on someone else's words and he probably just wasn't listening anyway. The other parent also told me of a few other incidents from Magic Circle and also of times where the teacher has corrected him in such a way in class as to embarrass him instead of simply to correct him.

I don't agree with Magic Circle in general, but the point of it is to help the kids to understand and process their feelings and the feelings of others. If real true deep feelings are being ignored, then not only is it not helpful, but it is truly deeply detrimental to their emotional health.

Tomorrow is our parent teacher conference (as luck would have it) and this needs to and will get brought up. At this point, even though I am loathe homeschool, I am beginning to feel as though I have no choice. He is still just a baby and he will learn soon enough that people are cruel and mean, at 5, he should still think things are lovely and safe.

Another Lacevember Meme

What are your ideal lace making conditions?

First and foremost there can be no children awake or at least in the same house as me. The stress of having to stop mid-row is too much. Will I remember where I was? Won't I? Will I drop a stitch because I wasn't paying close enough attention and then lose heaven only knows how much work?

Besides that, I love to sit in my big ole chair/recliner (although I don't recline in it often, especially while I am knitting) and watch reality TV. Well, listen to Reality TV, because, let's face it, if you are watching something else while you are attempting to knit lace, whcih means following a chart and following your own needles, then you may as well try to knit with a toddler in the room! If there is a fresh latte next to me the more the better so that I can sip between rows. It better be decaf though because, as I mentioned, I'll be drinking it post-kids bedtime and while I enjoy knitting lace, I don't want to be up all night doing it!

A little Lacevember photo session

Because I am pathetic and cannot figure how to get pictures off of my real digital camera onto my computer, I must torture you with cell phone pics. Hey, at least they are something. They prove I am knitting. Or at least someone near me is knitting and I'm taking the credit. Blame? Anyway. It's me and here are the photos of the Trellis Scarf to prove it. Well, 3 repeats of the trellis scarf anyway.

The knitting questions, or the usual suspects (a Lacevember post)

How long have you been knitting? 4 years

How did you learn to knit? taught myself from Melanie Falick's Kids Knitting when I signed up for a parent and me class at a Waldorf school and found out we weren't covering knitting until the spring. I wanted to learn now! thankyouverymuch. So I did.

Favorite thing about knitting? the challenge of learning a new skill. I don't think I have approached one single project without planning for it to teach me something. First knitting in general, then purling, then in the round, then socks, etc. It is a real sense of accomplishment. And then I seem to give everything away. So I guess it is also a built in gift system?

How long have you been knitting lace? 1 1/2 years

Favorite thing about knitting lace. Lots of holes in my work that hide the accidental ones...? No really, probably the delicacy of it. I am not a lacy person in general in both style and my physical person. Knitting lace is a feminine feeling thing and it reminds me that I am delicate too.

The yarn questions, or flash your stash

Favorite lace yarn? Don't have one. Least favorite is Rowan 4 ply cotton. Makes a good hat, but is tough to continue to knit with throughout the whole project. Also? Booooooooooring.

variegated or solids for shawls? Wow. Totally depends on the shawl. Generally in lace I like solids, in heavier yarns, variegated.

Favorite lace color? Must be blue since I keep knitting lace with it! Although I didn't realize it until this question.

Technique, or show us your skillz

Circs or straights? I prefer straights. I like the longer needles in my hands

Favorite lace knitting trick? I just don't have one. Or if I have one I don't know that it is a trick! Are there favorite tricks out there that I'm totally missing?

Lifelines? If so with what? I have had friends recommend this to me and I totally considered using it for this project, but this yarn is completely unfroggable, so I figured "what's the point?" So short answer? No. But I am keeping it in my future tricks to try file.

Fancy blocking wires, or just sewing pins stuck in your carpet? Sewing pins. Carpet. Toddler. Really it is a race against time. Block it at night after bedtime and hope it is dry first thing in the morning and pull it up before he finds it. It adds an element of suspense to blocking that I think it is really lacking LOL

Pattern, or can you follow directions

shawls or lacey items? shawls and scarves. I like hats too, but they are harder to find patterns for in lace.

triangle, rectangle, or circular shawls? What do I like best? Rectangle absolutely. At least if I'm going to wear it.

Charts or printed instructions? charts for intricate things, but printed instructions are fine for simple repeats.

Favorite lace you've knit? The one I'm working on now - IK Spring 2006 Trellis Scarf

Favorite lace you want to knit? Shetland Shawl.

Just Fun, yup that's right, just for fun

Favorite jelly belly flavor? A toss up between toasted marshmallow and sizzling cinnamon but I enjoy occasionally grossing myself out with the Bertie Botts flavors (eeeewwww earthworm!. Bacon?)

Tell me everything you know about Eric the Red..... Oooooo that movie with Tim Robbins and John Cleese? Oh wait. That's Erik the Viking... It's funny though. Or at least it used to be when I was an adolescent.

Coke, classic or with lime? Dr Pepper. Coke is a poor substitute but will do in a pinch.

Holiday carols, sing along, or wish they would be banned from all public airwaves? Banned except for like a two week stretch. Especially as piped in sound in stores!

What is the definition of irony? The fact that the Alannis Morrisette song about irony doesn't include even one example of actual irony?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? I have never licked a Tootsie Pop. Who licks a Tootsie pop? It is a sucker. You suck it. And you suck it until it is thin enough to crunch and then you chew it so it mixes in with the Tootsie Roll center. Any other way is blasphemy. Licks. Girlfriend, please. That was always a misguided commercial.

Why is my cat always puking in front of my son's bedroom door? Boobie trap.

What is your superhero power? bedtime! I can get a houseful of children (and occasionally a husband) asleep by 7:30, 7:45 at the latest! (watch that come back to bite me in the butt!)

If the laundry is 9 foot by 11 foot (just dreaming, that's a big laundry room), and the walls are 8 feet tall, and you are going to tile the entire room in tiles that are 3 inches by 5 inches, what color should those tiles be? Anything but white. And make them mildly textured so when water drips you don't get a closeup of them right before you black out.

What's for dinner tonight? Leftover turkey meatloaf made into burgers. And corn and salad.

What is clogging my children's bathtub drain? non skid strips. They love to pull them up from the bottom of the tub and then must dispose of them in an inconspicuous place. The drain is obvious really. It is handy and under the water, so the evidence can be disposed of without even coming above the surface of the water. And they are often clear. Mark my words...

My first Knitalong!

I have joined the Lacevember Knitalong. Eek! Now I actually have to actually do what I say I'm gonna do and knit this darn thing!

And "this darn thing" is the Trellis scarf from Interweave Knits Spring 2006. Gulp. It has 23 repeats and I can do one repeat a day because it takes two hours to do a repeat of 16 rows. And I can only do it after kids go to bed because it is a complicated lace pattern and therefore not conducive to putting it down mid row to chase a 1 1/2yo!

Well, I have two repeats done. Just 21 more to go!

Fall Nature Table

With special thanks to Papa and Safta who sent such beautiful leaves all the way from Tennessee!

Love Thursday

I love

-post bath candlelight bedtime with the boys

-seeing DH more now that he works closer

-making new friends

-Peet's caramel lattes - now 10 cents cheaper!

- B's toddler words
pum-pum pumpkin
birbee birdie
Ama Mama
Mama for Daddy (I'm sure that'll get straightened out!)
and a brief appearance halfway through Trick or Treating on Tuesday night that was some approximation of trick or treat, but untypeable and probably will never be repeated again. and speaking of...

-Trick or Treating with the boys. OMG did B have a blast. who knew a 20 month old would enjoy that so much. Z loved it too. He really got into discovering the neighborhood with us and was bummed when we canvassed all of the neighborhood we intended to.

-freshly roasted pumpkin seeds

-luminaries. I had no idea I liked these so much!!! They made our front path look so inviting though.

A week off

So Ez has had this past week off from school for Fall Break. We've had fun painting and keeping house and we even got to go to where Daddy's new office is gonig to be and help lay out chalk lines for where the desks are going to be. I think he's going to be a combo of bummed and glad to be back at school on Monday. They are actually going on a field trip to a farm on Monday, so that should ease the transition. And then there is Tuesday - Halloween. They are having a costume parade on Tuesday morning followed by their first Integrated Arts Day. I have no idea what that entails exactly, but I guess I'll know soon enough. The boys are going to be train engineers for Halloween - Ez's idea. The plan is also to turn the Sit N' Stand Stroller into a train engine with the aid of a large cardboard box. We'll see how that turns out. If that turns out.

Challah Boys

Challah Boys
Originally uploaded by woolfairy.

Thought you'd like to check out the latest Flickr pics

Well, I think I'm back at blogger. Xanga just wasn't working out for me. And I figured out my blogger problems (which involved self-hosting and a wonky template)

For a Z funny, try this one out:

Z has been battling (along with his brother before him and his mother after him) Hand foot and mouth. The mouth sores *really* hurt and keep you from eating and make you feel generally awful (and I can tell you this from current experience) Anyway, this is what he said the other day:

I'm telling on G-d for this. I'm gonna tell Moses!

Kids are funny.

Just a test

Just seeking if this works

I am mostly posting over at Xanga nowadays since blogger hates me, but I wanted to do a shout out to myself because I have FINISHED the French Market bag (that I had to put on hold all through my pregnancy and which I never really returned to after B was born.) And all of a sudden I am in a knitting renaissance. Now that I finished it, I finally feel cleared of all that dead weight and I have all these new project ideas. And what's more, I actually like the bag, so I will use it (I thought I would never want to see it again, but felting it changed everything)

Now on to some baby socks and longies...

New Babies are Time-Consuming!

I know that seems like saying that the sky is blue, but I really forgot how little time I have to do things, especially if they involve typing. Plus I have a few IRL projects going on that I really need to finish up this weekend and get into the mail - late as usual.

Bobo is a busy baby, he isn't quite 4 months yet and he is starting on the path to crawling. He scootches all over the house backwards in an attempt to go forward! I keep rescuing him before he disappears under furniture. He can get across a big room in minutes. He passes toys hand to hand, has a tooth and blows raspberries like he's Archie Bunker. lol.

Ezbug is busy too. He's ready for school although kindergarten isn't ready for him yet (His birthday falls 10 days past the cutoff) and DH and I don't know what to do about it. We can't afford preschool, especially the JCC's or WSOC's, and even if we could, we have missed the enrollment period and now we would be wait-listed. *sigh* I try to be busy with Homelearners, but because of the Lact-Aid, it is hard to be out for any length of time. We did Disneyland the other day before the passes went black for the summer and nursing is SUCH a hassle out of the house. Warming the thing up, getting a good position to nurse in where I can juggle a wiggly baby, a tube to put into said baby's mouth and of course large nursies, which don't help at all. And don't forget keeping an eye on a 4 1/2 year old. It sure would be easier to have people come over to play more, but that doesn't seem to be working out well. I don't know if people just feel uncomfortable meeting at people's homes or if it is just my home, but it sure would be awesome if I could get that.

One of my best friends and I have started to drift apart because our kids, who used to be very close, no longer have much in common. Ezbug loves his friend dearly, but there is an 18 month difference in their ages and his friend is much more into computers and TV and video games, etc and we don't have the same access to thos things as his friend. We aren't completey 100% media free here in our house, but Ez watches maybe a hour of TV a week at most (and that is entirely Blue's Clues or Dora) and he is very occasionally allowed to play on the computer (paint program usually or a music game at VMK).

Baby's awake. More later. Maybe in a week or two. LOL

I haven't totally disappeared

I just keep losing posts and even entire temmplate updates when I try to publish. Either I try to post when everyone else at Blogger is or I just need to move this darn blog somewhere else. Boo!!!!!

Everyone is well. Boaz is growing like a weed. So is Ezra for that matter. We're heading over to Disneyland tonight to catch the parade and fireworks since Michael will be home earlier than usual due to E3 going on in LA. He went, he saw, he was bored. At least he didn't pay $50 for parking. Yikes! He got the last $10 spot in the Convention Center lot (literally. They closed the gates after he drove in) But they sized up the competition and saw what their publisher is doing to promote their game.

No progress on the milk supply thing yet

I didn't figure there would be. We had major supply issues with Ezra and I guess it is my lot to need to supplement. But at least there is something like a Lact-aid or SNS so I don't have to give up altogether.

In preschool news for Ezra, registration at the JCC was during the time when I was 40+ weeks pregnant and had a newborn, so of course we missed it. And now they are full up for next year. Not that we could afford it anyway. Unless the whole school voucher thing is revisited and implemented, it will be public school for Ez. Blech. Best case scenario on that front: public Waldorf charter school. Or homeschooling. Pretty much all of our friends are doing it. We are involved with a homeschooling group that has many of his friends in it so that is something. Downside? We're the token Jews. We are so distanced from the Jewish community here that I have actually given thought to moving back to Los Angeles so we can be involved with the Jewish community there. But then DH would have a hellacious daily commute (1 1/2 hours each way) and that isn't good for our marraige or our children. We had gotten involved with a lovely Modern Orthodox shul there before we moved here and would love to pick back up.

Purim and Other Stuff

So Friday was Purim and I overdid it this year what with having a baby 3 weeks ago. Ezra and I made Shaloch Manos for a few friends (I didn't go insane with it this year. I scaled way back from my intentions.) We even got a Shaloch Manos from DH's Aunt Ellen. Ezra was tickled to get one. It does make me wish we lived in a more Jewish area and therefore knew more Jewish people though. I have to struggle to come up with Jewish friends and acquaintences that live within a driveable (for a 3-week old) distance. Around here it is because we can't seem to find a place that fits our needs that we can afford anywhere near an Orthodox shul. And while we aren't frum by any stretch, that is where we are most at home.

Which brings me to Purim night. Since Purim is a holiday where we can drive and is kid-friendly, we took full advantage and went to Chabad where there was much going on. They had a theme night and had singing, karate demonstrations, someone doing kanji writing (basically phonetically calligraphing the kids' names), skits, etc. Plus there were kids to play with and of course the megillah reading complete with noismaking (and the Rabbi read it faster then I've ever seen before - 17 minutes!!!) Ezra had a blast. An absolute blast. He dressed in an Israeli policeman's uniform costume that my SIL sent him from Israel which arrived about 30 minutes before we left for megillah reading. She has a photo on her blog: http://members.cox.net/jenniewoolf/

As for Boaz, he seemed to do pretty well. And of course, everyone oohed and aahed over him. He is 3 weeks old after all! Who can resist that? We're still haing nursing troubles, but the difficult part is that he is not doing well on the formula supplement, poor kid. It hurts his tummy. So we're going to try a new one today and if this one doesn't work out, we are going to explore donor breastmilk. We've had a volunteer, and I may take her up on it. In the meantime, I'm going to try some herbal things in addition to the domperidone to try to increase supply. Wish me luck.

Nursing Difficulties v. 2.0

So, for those of you who have been keeping up with our nursing struggles, today we got put on supplementation by Dr. Bob (Sears for those of you who don't know me personally). *sigh* So I picked up a Lact-Aid today and we had our first feeding with it about an hour ago. And the baby took about 2oz from the supplementer (Obviously I don’t know how much from me) and passed out cold. A nice change from the frustration he gets at the breast, especially in the evenings.

We were put on supplementation because Boaz only gained 1 oz in a week, not a good gain by anyone’s estimation. Michael is actually having a harder time with this than I am, believe it or not, probably because I have been feeling it coming and he has been extremely committed to not feeling it coming. But he isn't at the other end of the nursing pair and doesn’t feel the frustration that I feel from Boaz when he is hungry and not feeling satisfied.

Anyway, I may be in denial about this, but it mostly feels like I’m okay with it, well, as much as I can be. And the good news is – I am experienced with at-breast supplementers, so there is a significantly lower learning curve for me then there would be for someone else. Plus, I know I can do it long-term and continue on to have a good toddler nursing relationship sans supplementer. There will be bad days and emotional issues as there were with Ezra I am more than sure, but I do what I can do, right?

Our Baby is here!

And he has a name: Boaz! Of course when it was announced at his bris yesterday we didn't get a single "Wow, what a cool name!" But we did get quite a few "Boaz, huh?"

He was a big fellow - 10lbs, 8oz and 23 inches long - and we had some minor shoulder dystocia, but he was born at home after a very quick and intense labor (1 hour and 20 minutes)

Anyway, that's all for now since my computer time is WAY limited, but I wanted to update!

B'Shaah Tovah

I would like to thank YajB for saying this in the last comments. I had forgotten that in all the fuss about induction and whatnot. In good time. That's when babies come isn't it? I have been forgetting one major thing in all of this - to trust my healthy body that Hashem has given me. I've been popping herbs and having NSTs and taking castor oil all to no avail with each new thing entered into with promise and ending with nothing. And I realized, there is one major thing missing here - trust.

I am trying to get outside influences to bring my baby and what I need to do is to truly believe that my body will do what it was made to do, and that is to grow a healthy baby and then to birth it b'shaah tovah - in good time. It isn't the atmospheric pressure or the cohoshes or the castor oil that will bring this baby - it is me. It is the body that Hashem gave me that has grown this beautiful strong healthy baby inside me and will bring him forth into the world when he is good and ready and when I am as well. My mother, under the influence of OA, used to tell me that she needed to "let go and let G-d." And this is the same thing. Trust my body, trust my baby, trust in G-d who made them both.

Here's a quote from Jewishpregnancy.org:

What many women find most challenging about birth is its demand that we
relinquish control and accept that G-d is orchestrating the process. Like life,
childbirth is a lesson in accepting our limitations, and shatters the illusion
that we control the situations in which we find ourselves. It is as though G-d
insists that we learn to let go of our attachment to seeing the results we want,
when we want them, and allow Him to guide us through the process of expending
pure effort instead. Birth can then become a lens through which we view our own
lives more maturely, more honestly.

So perhaps it is a good solid combination of learning to trust and learning to give up control. Because my efforts to date are examples of both not trusting and trying to grab control over something over which I have none.

Still Pregnant

Just thought I'd let you know since I haven't updated in awhile. There's been a touch of healthcare drama, but nothing dangerous, just more hoops to jump through. I tried a bit of acupuncture today to see if we can get this labor going. I'm already ripe and ready at 4cm and 90% effaced. My membranes are loose enough from the sides that they are unstrippable so it is strictly a waiting game at this point.

Come on baby!

Getting Closer

I can't believe that we are in the final stretch of this pregnancy. It has gone so quickly. Less than a month left till my due date (actual birth day is anyone's guess) We had an ultrasound on Friday that confirmed that I am, in fact, growing a little boy! Well, "little" is debatable! :) Ah well, big or tiny, he will be here soon enough.

We have spent this weekend preparing for this little one. We've cleaned out the car, although we ran into a little snag in getting it detailed. The wait is atrocious today. REALLY bad. Like 2 hours wait for just a regular car wash, forget about the extensive job we want done. So I may need to deal with it this week sometime.

We also bought (and assembled) the stroller, some clothes and receiving blankets, a Nursing Nest, a Medela Nursing Stool, and a few other minor sundries.

In sad news, we loaned out our CoSleeper to some friends and picked it up last night so we could assemble it here at home and it somehow got broken. One of the metal poles was quite severely bent where the latch should release. Sometimes it can be difficult to take down and I think they may have gotten overzealous in trying to get it down when they were done with it. I feel really bad for them, because they are in no position to pay for it, but then again, neither are we with the midwife expense and all. But that is $160 that needs to be spent. We got a lot of use out of that CoSleeper and expect(ed) to this time as well. I'm bummed because I already bought the extender legs to match ours and now I have the wrong color because it seems to be really difficult to get the CoSleeper in the original blue with white legs. So now I will have non-coordinating legs, which really is very minor though.

Preparations

We had our 35 week midwife appointment yesterday and all seems to be on course for our homebirth sometime after about a week and a half from now (!!!) Next week is our big appointment - the 36 week conference - where we go through all of the expectations for the birth, we go through the birth kit, the list of things that need to be on hand, etc for the birth, etc.

In preparation for that, I pulled out the scrapbook from my pregnancy with DS and went through the list we got from them. I'm sure there will be differences, but much of it will be the same. The part that made me laugh nervously to my DH is that all of it was supposed to have been completed by the 36 week mark. So this weekend on the agenda is getting the car cleaned thoroughly by a car cleaning place - the full detailing. If we are sticking another carseat in there, then it needs to be thoroughly cleaned, because I know what the seat under DS's looks like when we take it out. Can you imagine 2 carseats? Yikes! And when that is done, in goes the baby's carseat. Or at least the base from the carseat. And then it will only be our immediate family that can ride in our car. @ adults in the front, 2 carseats in the back and we are full up. Turns out I really *do* need a minivan. One of these days...

And we need other basic baby stuff too. For some reason I cannot find all of the receiving blankets from DS. And I had a TON. I gave a few to a friend, but I thought I had kept some. I guess not. So I need to shop for baby hats and receiving blankets.

And last, but not least, I am having a blessingway, or a Mama blessing. I was sure that since it hadn't come up by now, that it wouldn't, but sure enough, I got a call yesterday from my best friend and she is planning something. I'm pretty excited. So now the baby is on notice to wait until after the 12th of February. At least from BF! :)

Off to make breakfast!!

Some time alone

Don't worry, I'm not getting used to it. It may be my last time alone for YEARS. Actually it is very nice. DH, poor guy, has been working himself crazy finishing up some contract work so that we can pay off this homebirth and buy the baby things, etc. He's been putting in long days at the office and then longer nights at home, sometimes not getting to bed till after 3 in the morning. And I'm closing in on the end of this pregnancy, which is getting harder on me physically. I'm exhausted and the relaxin is wreaking havoc on my ankle, which had some ligament problems last year that resolved, but were reawakened by the hormone surge preparing my body for childbirth. IcyHot patches are my very best friend nowadays.

Anyway, those physical changes and stressors are par for the course and I mostly just live with them, but it is really slowing me down with my poor 4yo DS. I can't do as much, we don't go as many places, I can't walk very far and there is no way I can pick him up anymore. And he needs a touch more physical play than I am able to give him right now. And with DH being effectively out of the picture for a few weeks, including weekends, DS has been going nuts. But today Daddy is back and they are off in a mad celebration of that today with a huge day at the park bike riding and boat riding and swinging and climbing and all manner of things Mommy can't do much of anymore. And tomorrow is a Disneyland day. And if I even go, basically I will sit on my butt a lot because of this ankle. DS is very much in his element.

A good example of how quickly I peter out nowadays is yesterday. DH invited some friends over for Shabbat dinner. Not ever a big deal in the past. So DS and I went out to the Farmer's Market in the morning for asparagus and strawberries (one of the big positives of living in Southern CA, BTW), stopped at Trader Joe's for a few things and then on to Costco for 2 folding chairs we have needed to buy for awhile now. After that, I needed to rest for about an hour because I was EXHAUSTED. And then back to the kitchen for challah baking, food prep and cooking, cleaning up the dishes, etc. I worked for about 3 hours total. And when I was done (and DH was home) I was so exhausted and drained that I had to lay on the sofa for awhile and not do anything. We even did all the non-table specific Friday night stuff in the living room to give me more rest time. And many hours later (10pm) I brought DS up to bed and then lay on the bed upstairs to try to recover from my day of body abuse. It hurt to even make my way to the bathroom. Pathetic really. But after a good night's sleep, I woke up only midly aching from my workout yesterday and after an afternoon of doing nothing, I feel loads better.

Oh wait, I didn't do nothing! I get to mark one more thing off my to-do list - I finally ordered those darn cosleeper extender legs! :)

So how much have I gotten done?

I bought Biokleen and washed the baby clothes I have on hand.
I bought 2 dozen infant sized prefolds (I have a dozen here already.)

Other than that? Nothing. I looked at dressers and DH was horrified that they cost $200 (and these were Simmons changing table dressers on clearance!) Apparently he has been out of the furniture shopping loop for WAY too long. Of course he has strange notions of what things cost. I'll never forget years ago when I sent him to pick up the drycleaning and he was horrified that is cost about $20 for a suit, several dresses and a couple shirts. He was figuring on about $5.

And in baby news, apparently my midwife, who prides herself on rarely having been off in 18 years of midwifery, estimates our baby to be at about 8lbs right now based on butt size. In case you aren't keeping track, I am 34 1/2 weeks pregnant. In the last month, a baby generally gains 1/2-1lb per week. Is it possible for me to subsist on nothing but water and Rolaids Soft Chews (a girl's got to do something about heartburn!) for the next however many weeks and keep the weight gain in the new one down? Yikes. DS was 9lbs8oz and presented with both hands next to his (large) head, so I'm not afraid of a big baby, but I sure don't relish the idea of delivering a 12lb one. I'll have to skip all the newborn stuff!

In positive news on that front, DSIL has agreed to come when the baby is born for a few days to help out with DS. She will leave upon news that we are in labor and probably arrive after the actual birth, given that she lives in Atlanta and we live in Southern CA. But it will be nice having her around. Of all of his family, I know that she will be the best one to have around for this sort of thing. Hopefully mid-February. Maybe 38 weeks? Ack! Am I really that close? I only have 2 1/2 weeks until we are cleared for our homebirth. :gulp:

So I had this huge long post...

And Blogger ate it. They ended up going down during the time I had typed it, but I didn't know and submitted it to publish and lost the whole darn thing. Bummer. And it was a non-whining post too! So I'll try to recreate it as best I can. Well, sort of since I can only remmeber parts of it. 1st part:

Getting ready for the baby

I have a boatload of stuff to do and I am torn about how much I should do since I am a touch on the superstitious side thanks to being Jewish I guess. I don't want to bring too much into the house, but on the other hand, there are things we need ahead of time, especially since we are having this baby at home. Earlier this week I finally bought the carseat which is now in our dining room awaiting installation somewhere around 36 weeks. But there is much still to do, including:

• Buying both cloth diapers and wool to knit covers. Oh, and of course, knit those covers. Yikes.
• Buying the Sit N Stand stroller. We are actually going to do this a touch earlier then we really need to for the baby because we need a stroller to bring to Disney with DS and we may as well buy one that will be useful for awhile.
• Order domperidone from New Zealand (long story but suffice it to say, it would be nice to have on hand if I need it)
• Buy a sling.
• Buy a diaper bag. This is more important than you realize because I do not own a purse and haven't in years. First I used the diaper bag backpack from Lands End with DS and then when he was old enough to not need it anymore, I just tossed my keys and wallet in my pocket. I would do that now, but maternity clothes are notoriously devoid of pockets.
• Get in an array of herbal stuff for both baby and mommy, including wipes solution, sitz bath herbs, etc etc.
• Pick up cosleeper from friend who borrowed it and buy the extender legs for it since our bed is taller than the one we had with DS.
• Buy Bi-O-Kleen and do some baby laundry.
• Buy dresser/changing table so we have somewhere to put aforementioned diapers and newly laundered clothes. If we manage to buy this, it will be the only dresser we have in the house. Sad, huh? :) We used to have this awesome built-in in our dressing closet in LA and when we moved we no longer had a place to put it, but in our last apartment, we had a closet full of shelving that really made a dresser unnecessary. This place? We really do need a dresser although the closet is okay with shelving. But not if we have to add another person's clothes to it.

More later I suppose. Some company just dropped by and I should be sociable.

Taking a moment to vent

I LOATHE Kaiser (my HMO) Each time I call to speak to my midwife I have to go through their obnoxious phone menu system and they send her office a message on the computer saying that someone is trying to reach them. Then I get a call back either from her nurse or from the general advice nurse. Usually, even though I would like to talk to my midwife, I just suck up and talk to whomever calls me back, but this time I actually need to speak with my midwife about a possible homebirth midwife who she used to work with and also to see if I can get a copy of my medical records to share with said possible new midwife without jumping through all the hoops and possibly causing concerns about continuing my care. (I intend to do co-care through my HMO to avoid transfer difficulties should that need arise.)

So I tell the person who called me back that I really just need to actually speak to my midwife this time because we need to talk about some things that came up in one of my appointments (She told me at the appt where she said she couldn't be at a homebirth for us that she would be glad to give us any feedback she could on midwives and to ease any transition to one) So thisnurse, even though I was trying to be firm but polite hung up on me after snottily telling me that I would just have to wait until my midwife got in tomorrow. I mean come on.

I can't talk to my provider herself without jumping through major hoops (even though midwives are *supposed* to be more accessible), my appointments are a travesty time-wise, especially after what my appointments with my homebirth midwife last time, and I am 31 1/2 weeks pregnant and not only am I not being seen every 2 weeks now, my appointments are generally 5 weeks apart, and I won't be seen again until I am 33 1/2 weeks pregnant (from 28 weeks) Is this stupid to anyone else or am I being overly sensitive? This is all part of the reason that I have stopped being able to compartmentalize my feelings about facing a hospital birth as the "pragmatic" decision. How many babies am I going to have anyway? With as difficult as it was to get pregnant with this one, I might not ever have another baby. And don't I and this baby deserve a peaceful birth? And with all the stess and crap surrounding just trying to speak to my provider, why in the world should I believe that the birth will be anything but a big pain in the butt and a fight from start to check-out?

Plus, about that homebirth, Unless I am able to find someone who will be willing to negotiate and work with us, (I have an appt on Friday with someone who *might* be willing since we are so far along) We cannot find the money to have a homebirth midwife. Just typing that sentence makes me cry. Around here, the midwives run about $3400-$4000 for a homebirth. To have the baby at our HMO would cost us $200 at most, probably way less, because that is based on their $100/day policy and we would check ourselves out ASAP. The cost with DS ended up being miserable because DH lost his job right before my 3rd trimester started and it took him 9 months to find another job, which led to it taking 2 years to pay off DS's birth.

And yet, the thought of having this baby in a hospital makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I don't care if our midwife has said that she will be on call for us. I don't care that we can check ourselves out of the hospital after 6 hours. I want to have my baby at home with my husband in the quiet and peace of our space. I avoid any thinking about the actual birth. I haven't even gone to see the labor and delivery area of the hospital because I am avoiding the inevitable, perhaps with the (obviously mistaken) notion that by avoiding it, it will never come to pass. Also, I'm pretty sure I will burst into tears during the tour in a fairly embarrassing way. Heck, I burst into tears at everything these days, so why not at something actually emotionally charged?

And as a side freak-out, the friend I thought would be able to help out with DS when I was birthing is going through a major emotional crisis, and while I am not upset with her or anything, (and actually I really feel for her. As burnt out as she is, I can hardly believe she has held up this long) I have no freaking idea where DS will go during the birth whether we have the baby at home or not (He has asked to not be here for it.) I hate being 2000 miles away from family. Any family.

A few pictures, since I haven't posted any in ages:

From that Waldorf Faire I mentioned a few weeks back. Don't you love his acorn necklace? :) :



And from DS's 4th birthday at Goofy's kitchen.



and



More later because I want to talk about my homebirth, or maybe lack thereof, and a kind of babysitter bummer that I wouldn't mind feedback on.

Random Ramblings

So I still haven't told anyone about this blog. The only people who come here are those who either find it from one of the 3 people who have it on their blogroll or are one of those 3 people or my SIL (who comes here every few months or so.) I don't know why. On one hand, I like not having to answer to people IRL about what I post here so that I can vent about stuff like DH or family or whatever. OTOH, it might be nice to have people to talk to instead of just cyberspace.

Second, this blog is increasingly inaptly named. My knitting is nonexistant nowadays with this pregnancy carpal tunnel. And that blows because I really want to get some diaper covers and longies knitted and it just isn't happening. But, then again, my whole homekeeping has suffered this pregnancy. I am having a hard time even keeping up with cooking and cleaning and laundry, nevermind sewing, mending, knitting, baking, crafts, etc. I guess it is getting me ready for the utter lack of time I will have with a newborn, but I kind of feel cheated especially because I know that my free time will take a major fall when the baby comes.

Third: DS and school. Now this is a subject that I am struggling over. We are involved in a homeschool group. We were actually involved in another one a while back, but there are some bullying issues there and I don't intend on exposing my DS to bullying when I can avoid it, IYKWIM. So this new group spun off of the playgroup we have been involved with since DS was just 6 months old (He turned 4 last week) Many of the families have been DS's playmates for years and it tends toward the younger end of the spectrum rather than the preschool to high school groups around elsewhere, mostly because we have spun off of our playgroup and we are reaching this age together.

Anyway, I am frustrated with this group because one of the big problems people often bring up about homeschooling is socialization. Which, BTW, is inaccurate. What they really mean is having consistant social outlets with the same general group of people. Anyway, I tend to agree that this is a concern with homeschooling so my goal then is to attempt to find a consistant group of people with whom we interact on a very regular basis. This group can't seem to manage even a weekly park day. At best we have a biweekly park day, but those are sporadically attended. Sometimes there are tons of kids, sometimes 2. They have also instituted what they call Young Explorer Days on a weekly basis. Problem with this? Tons of driving. Sometimes hours of it. They want to explore some local places, some not local places and even include hiking. Well, hiking is out for us because DS will poop out after the 1st mile and want to be carried. And I am 7 months pregnant and not carrying a 50+lb child for another few miles. And yes, the hikes tend toward the 2+ mile length there and then again back. Some 3-5 year olds can do this, but certainly not even the majority. I won't even get into the fact that we live in (and they are hiking through) mountain lion country and there have been attacks and deaths, although not tons of them.

So to recap, the only regular weekly get together isn't very consistant given that the place varies every week, sometimes by a hundred miles, or includes activities that are just not appropriate for the general age range of the group. (general age range being 3-6 years old, with many younger siblings from newborn to 2) Now how good is this for social interaction and community building? It isn't. Which encourages me to not homeschool. But then my friends who have children in the school system tell me about what goes on there which strongly encourages me to homeschool. And I'm not even talking about their horror stories! Plus, I have a year and a half before DS even qualifies for kindergarten because of where his birthday falls and preschool is WAAAAAAAY out of our budget even if it were something we were interested in. So we are looking at homeschooling at the very least until he qualifies age-wise for kindergarten. *sigh*

This is a cool DH story

For years as a child I asked for the Crayola Color Caddy. Wanted it with all my heart and every year I got a different Crayola kit, because my parents apparently had no idea what I was talking about. So this has come up over the years with DH here and there, mostly as a humorous aside, because I harbor no distress over this, but I always thought it was funny that my parents, well meaning though they were, couldn't manage this fairly simple gift.

Fast forward to this year. DH has been trying, fruitlessly, to get me this Caddy for Hanukkah this year. They no longer make it in the US and haven't in years. So he has been hunting literally all over the world. He contacted Crayola customer service, who put him in touch with their UK division, who told him that they no longer make it either and the only place in the world that carries anything similar is Australia. So he contacted them and thought that this was a gift idea that was going to die because of seriously prohibitive shipping fees ($65 to get the thing here). And lo and behold, Crayola Australia is sending him one gratis. Just because it was such a sweet story and they wanted to help out.

So this year I am finally getting a Crayola Caddy. Of course I don't know what I will do with it... :)

In other news, I went to the party and had a crummy time. I was bored and seasick (which kept me from being hungry I guess :) ) But DH enjoyed himself and seems to believe that we both had a grand time, so I'm happy to let him believe that. It is over and I have about 3 years before I have to go to another one! :) Oh, and just FWIW, DH got home at just past 7:30pm that night, in case you were wondering.

Sucky Mom of the Week goes to...

Me. Yeah me. This pregnancy is kicking my butt nowadays. I'm tired, I'm cranky and I am seriously tired of fighting with my almost 4yo about everything. And when I am at my tiredest (early evening and facing dinner with a dread previously unknown to me) he is at his wildest and most aggravating. And DH has all of a sudden hit a point where it is impossible for him to get home at a reasonable hour. He just can't get his butt out the door when he says he will. For example, this week is Hanukkah, starting tonight. I told him that if he wanted to spend it with his son, he needed to get in earlier so he could leave earlier. Well, he got in earlier. And guess what? He isn't getting home any earlier. If he is here by 7:00 tonight I will probably pass out cold (and this after he told me he was shooting for 6:30) He also said that he would put in some extra hours yesterday so that he could free up a little time to be able to make leaving early a possibility. He worked until 11:30pm.

And I have to go to his work holiday party on Thursday. I DO NOT want to go to this. I am exhausted by 7pm and this thing doesn't even start until 7:30. It is on a boat on the ocean. I am slightly ocean-phobic, especially on boats. I have nothing to wear. Literally nothing because plus sized women apparently are not allowed to get pregnant. And if we do, we can order about 12 things, including 1 dress, via online. I did not order said dress, because I really don't need a black velvet floor length maternity dress that I will wear once. Does business casual mean jean skirts? I sure hope so. Oh, and it is a dinner cruise where you have to submit your dietary preference (i.e. vegetarian) at reservation time. Guess what they never even asked about. Bingo. So I won't have anything to eat either. So I'm going to be hungry, seasick, underdressed, and experiencing anxiety attacks about the ocean for the whole 2 1/2-3 hours I'll be on that thing. Matter of fact, I'm having a minor anxiety attack just thinking about it.

Getting Better

Well, DH eventually semi-apologized. (meaning that he still doesn't think he did anything wrong, but he acknowledges that I think so and was hurt by it and so apologized for being the source of my hurt. And also for calling my feelings about it BS.) And then he did better at Disneyland yesterday. OK, not perfect, because DS and I spent a lot of time on our own, but I was more okay with it for some reason. Probably because, being pregnant, there are few things I can go on anyway, and also because I can go pretty much whenever I want to rather than it being a once a year sort of deal.

But this problem rears its head occasionally because DH has a tendency to put his family ahead of our family, although I don't think he does it on purpose at all. He just gets this "I'm with these people all the time" thing going in his head that he doesn't realize that he often puts us on hold for them, even when his family of origin isn't here (meaning he talks to them on the phone for hours at a time each week while we wait around for him to be done.)

Anyway, the air is much more clear around here, at least for now.

Hormonal Psycho Pregnant Mama Alert

Be on the lookout, she is touchy, she is testy, and she will cry or lash out at the drop of a hat.

Now, granted, my husband was a total ass yesterday and refuses to apologize or even acknowledge that he did anything wrong, so I am extra bitchy as a result. And my SIL is here and can't keep her nose out of our marriage. She has to make some comment or suggestion or go behind one or the other of our backs to "tell on" the other of us because of some slight that she perceived. And I have one more week of her here. And DH sees no concern with this and makes me whisper these complaints about her in my own bedroom, with the door shut with her asleep down the hall in case she might hear.

Now, about my total ass husband: we went to a Waldorf Faire yesterday. We got there and he proceeded to either ignore us (DS and I) while we were around him or just take off for an hour at a time with his sister and leave me with DS. As a result, I wasn't able to get food, go to the bathroom, had to carry my 55lb injured and bleeding son around (Did I mention I am 26 weeks pregnant? No?) And when he did show up, he ignored us. He shows up, sometime after DS fell and hurt himself (about 30-45 minutes) and I am hurting from the exertion of carrying him, so DH says to rest, he'll watch him. Well, he got to talking again and proceeded to ignore DS again to the point where I had to keep getting up to help DS. When he finally decides we should head back to the food, lo and behold there isn't anything but chicken in a pita left. So he got a nice sandwich and I got diddly squat, so I took DS to the tea party area where we got tepid (because of the little ones) tea and some mini chocolate chip cookies. DH doesn't show up again for ages. I am finally able to get him on the cell phone (because of the location of the faire, antenna availability was sporadic at best) he is off with his sister again making friendship bracelets. I told him we were at the tea party and DS was getting antsy and needed to get going. So they got there and sat down to work on their bracelets more and of course DS wasn't going to sit any longer, so I told DH that we were on our way to go use the last tickets we had since the faire was ending soon and DS couldn't sit anymore. So once again, I was on my own.

And then on the ride home, he proceeded to tell me about all the cool things that he and SIL had seen that I had not gotten a chance to see because I was on solitary mommy duty all day. I about burst into tears, but held myself because I wanted to actually talk about this alone with him.

Fast forward home. DH spends the entire night downstairs watching movies with SIL while I spend an hour+ getting DS to sleep and then crash in my own room because sitting up on the sofa is too much at this point in my day. Then this morning bright and early, DH wakes up and decides that now would be a good time to get friendly. Well, needless to say, I was in no mood at all and took the opportunity of alone time and him actually being there to tell him all of this and he told me that it was all my fault. He still has not apologized nor does he intend to and then he wonders why I am angry and bitchy today.

Just a little vent

DS's carseat needed cleaning badly, so I pulled it out of the car and took the cover and straps off to wash. Then DH called and needed something from upstairs. So when I got up there I needed to sit for a minute and catch my breath since I had just come from carrying that heavy Britax Marathon and taking it apart to running up the stairs. When I returned downstairs (after about 3 minutes) my almost 4yo DS had ripped the comfort foam and removed the impact foam from the leg area and hidden it. He still hasn't returned it, despite being told that we likely wouldn't be able to go anywhere in the car for over a week until it is replaced, so I had to call Britax, order replacement parts (which will arrive in 7-10 days) and now wait for them to arrive. Luckily, they said we could still use the seat without that particular foam because of its location. That is good, because my very favorite festival of the year is this weekend, and I would have been seriously pissed off if I had to miss it.

And last night I saw on the news a segment on car safety while pregnant and that car accidents are a large cause of infant death after 24 weeks due to abrupted placenta (and I am 25 weeks right now and, BTW, driving all sorts of places for hours at a time in LA traffic this week) And so, since I am the anxiety queen, just in general, this doesn't ease my mind. So I am just sure to follow the safety belt rules for pregnant moms and hope and pray for the best.

And news from here:

3 things really. Sometime in the night I went to turn over in bed, got a shooting pain and now it appears as though I have strained or pulled a muscle in my hip/lower back region. I saw my midwife today (happened to be my 24 week appt) and she said there wasn't much to do besides massage. And of course my crap insurance doesn't cover that *or* chiropractic. And the icy-hot patch isn't doing diddly squat. (although I appreciate the recommendation for it MortimersMom! :)

Also at this appointment she told me that because of the administrative crap at my HMO, she would not be able to attend a homebirth for us, although she will do her best to attend a hospital birth for us, which is something considering she would have to give us her personal cell number. I don't know what to do since $3400 is way out of our budget for a homebirth right now and I really don't want to have my 2nd at a hospital when I had my 1st at home and I would really be knowing what I was missing. The fact that I have to choose just totally sucks.

And last: gestational diabetes. It is my intention to refuse this test, although I will monitor my blood sugar at home via glucometer. Currently I have good fasting blood sugar levels and decent, although not great 1hr GTT levels (I informally tested myself utilizing Halloween candy, LOL). They fall, barely, under where they like to see levels after the 50g glucose 1hr GTT. She isn't pressuring me, per se, to have the GTT, but she did speak in favor of it. I have some concerns about GD since I am considered severely overweight, and I had a 9 1/2lb baby the 1st time who had fairly severe jaundice. But I am concerned, rightfully so I believe, about opening myself up to interventions that would not be an issue if I didn't have that particular diagnosis on my chart.

Has it really been 2 months since I posted?

Good night! I have been so crazy lately, I can't seem to keep up with anything. I developed pregnancy carpal tunnel as well, so my fingers are numb and hurt, especially when I type, so I don't do it as often as I used to.

And knitting? Well, that isn't happening either for the same reason, and I really need to step it up on that so I have some things for when the baby gets here.

And we are having a boy!! I would post ultrasund pictures, but Kaiser's ultrasounds blow, so I am completely unsure of how they tell anything on them. For our 1st, the ultrasound was so clear, but this was awful. And they wouldn't let us tape it. So apparently it is true, the 2nd kid does get shafted on pictures, right from the start! :)

Isn't it ironic...

that now that I am in the 2nd trimester and my energy levels are starting to return that I have started heavy duty packing and am therefore wearing myself out so much that I am more physically exhausted than I was during those 1st trimester weeks? Or does that just suck? :)

We have 2 more days to pack (Wednesday and Thursday) because Friday is dedicated to painting. Then the movers come on Sunday and deliver us to the promised land - er..... the 3BR condo. OMG am I beat. Sad story. I was so tired after putting DS to bed tonight, but I was really really thristy and we had no bottled water in the house (and the tap water tastes truly nasty here) but I was too tired to walk out onto the front porch to lift the 3 gallon jug into the kitchen and into the dispenser. So I had to rest for about an hour before I regained the energy enough to go get the water. Just pathetic. But, in my defense, I seriously got a lot of packing in today. I should be able to hit my 2 day cutoff without a problem.

Tomorrow's tasks? Another bunch of toys, most of the rest of the kitchen including food, except for absolutely necessary stuff and perishables, the rest of the non-essential clothes and all the little piddly stuff that is starting to form piles. I will put together my piddly last minute stuff box, but leave it open for access as well.

And where is DH during all this? Poor guy is in crunch time at his office. He is still at work at 9:35pm and isn't planning to leave anytime soon. They are going final on their game within a week so he is at work feelign super guilty that he is leaving his pregnant wife to pack up the house. I am under strict orders to not move the boxes I fill though, only tape them up and wait for him to get home and direct him where to move them.

Hopefully this time next week we will be mostly settled in our new place and all this will be behind us.

The Cat is Out of the Bag

I can't believe I forgot to mention it the last post. Duh. Anyway, the whole family knows and it is a bit of a relief to be sure. Although I can't figure out a way to tell the moms in my playgroup who I have been hiding it from as well. A big "I'm pregnant" email seems a little silly after dodging "Are you guys trying?" questions for a few months (while I was pregnant I might add!).

I had my 1st homebirth midwife appointment today and she seems really great, but a little hung up on the whole Bradley diet thing - to the point where they ask you to keep a food log every week and go over it with you at each prenatal appointment. Ugh. Like I need that kind of pressure. And they want me to eat 80-100 grams of protein every day. First of all for a vegetarian like myself, that is a little difficult and second, vegetarians generally have lower protein needs. I hope I don't end up butting heads with them about the protein issue. I'll stick to my beans and occasional dairy and eggs and tofu and see how I do. Maybe the protein is measuring up and I'm just not aware of it because I don't have her chart/checklist?

She's also really into waterbirth and I am just not attracted to it. I wasn't with my 1st and it really doesn't appeal to me like you would think it would. I liked my 8 hour shower while I was in labor with posterior lying DS, but the concept of climbing into a pool of water doesn't do it for me. Maybe it is because I am not thrilled about being wet in general. Even during my 1st (home)birth I never once though how great it would be to climb into water. Whatever.

In other news, we are moving in about 2 weeks. We found a great condo to rent with a common backyard and a great private deck and 3 BR for the price of a 2BR. We got really lucky. Only problem? It isn't walking distance to any synagogues. Again. We only found one place during our entire search that was within walking distance and it was rented before I could get over to the place to see it about 1 hour after it was listed in the MLS. It makes me crazy, but we can only do so much. You can't make places appear out of thin air. Here's what it looks like from the outside:

Miss me? Again?

My diligent updating is bound to build my readership, dontcha think? Seriously, I am exhausted lately and I hope very very much that the 2nd trimester eases this in a few weeks because nothing is getting done around here. Things to do that aren't getting done:

1. Packing. We are moving to a new apartment in a couple of weeks. I have around 7 boxes packed. FWIW, last time we moved we had 90+ boxes.

2. Cooking. My poor child has had bagels with cream cheese every morning this week. I simply cannot get it together more than that.

3. Cleaning. My house is a wreck. Oh sure, the big stuff is getting done - dishes, laundry, etc. but the clutter...? Well, it has moved in to stay awhile. DS is too quick with the toy scattering and my energy level is no match for him.

Good news? According to the handy dandy calculator over there -----> I only have a few weeks more of the 1st trimester and then the energy picks up a bit.

In other good news, we had a midwife appt today and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat at a lovely and strong 160 rate. DS has put 2 and 2 together and now realizes that being pregnant means that I am having a baby. No idea how he managed it, but there you go. Precocious 3 1/2 year olds..... Next appointment is with the OB for my once per pregnancy required OB visit. In other news, we have our 1st appointment with the homebirth midwife next week. We have to do prenatals through our HMO in order to be sure that there are no chances they might refuse to cover me in case of a transport. And it doesn't cost us anything...

We've got a new Due Date
 
I have been redated. So I am at February 27th now, but I am going to choose to believe that my EDD is March 1, because, frankly, I'm not too sure about that date, IYKWIM.  And I'm also a slave to dates (OK not really), so who knows if I will actually be able to keep that mindset. You'll notice my ticker is set with their dates. Of course, it is comforting to be over 8 weeks, so perhaps that's my thought process. Who knows? And have you ever been to a dating at this stage? It is like he sees a fuzzy blob and chooses a spot approximately on either side of it. When we had DS's u/s for dates, he was 16 weeks, so they measured his head and his legs and his arms. But this? Not so sure.

I thought that perhaps things were off because my hCGs were really high for the dates I thought I was, but I am not completely convinced I am 8weeks 2 days yet. So I will ask for a recount at my 20 week ultrasound to confirm dates.

In other good news, I got a very good (and high) heartrate - 175 - that seems to fit with an article I saw called SEX, HEART RATE, and AGE and the peak of heart rate seems to be around the 8-9 week mark, sooooo... BTW, the article debunks the whole boy heart rate/girl heart rate thing.

It was also a good picture of a yolk sac and an embryo. I'm pretty happy about the whole thing, obviously.  If DH got any decent pictures on the video camera (unlikely) I'll post them later.

So here's something new to keep me busy...
 
A new knitting project! I am SO buying this pattern: Little Turtle Knits Little Ribby I can't make anything really for the baby, especially since I don't know what sex s/he is. But every baby uses diapers. And since I did cloth with Ezra, I know I can accomplish it with this one. And maybe I'll knit a practice one for a friend who is due in a few months.
 
On the good news front, we went in this morning for my physical exam. Heaven only knows why they can't do this at the 1st appointment, but they don't. So I had my internal exam and then the extra bonus - an ultrasound. I was not expecting this today since I have the u/s for dates scheduled on Monday, but I was pleased.  Because I had a longer cycle than normal this time, they could not date from my LMP. I knew when I ovulated but no one will listen to a pregnant woman on that count apparently. So she is trying to tell me that I am 10 weeks along. Well, I know better. So she does the ultrasound and she says, "Well, it looks like you are around 6 weeks after all." Well, *I* knew that. It is nice to have some affirmation of what I already knew.  
 
And for the best part? We got to see the heartbeat. Woohoo!! So although they will give me an official EDD at the hospital ultrasound on Monday, We are pretty safe at keeping it at 3/10/05 for now. It may change by a day or two but we have a general part of the month to shoot for now. :) 
 
It is very nice to have a place where I can talk about this before we actually tell anyone. Since there are so few of you, loyal readers (hee hee), it mostly is between me and cyberspace. I think once I come out of the closet about this pregnancy, I will probably tell family/friends about it since we are generally so far away from everyone. They can feel like they are involved to some extent. But that probably means no venting about family/friends, huh?
 
Well, I'm off to find the softest sweetest wool out there!

My poor midwife

As I mentioned in my last post, we have a new little one expected early next year. Well, because of the year and a half that it took to get pregnant with said bundle, I am a bit of a wreck over every little thing. So I have had 3, yes 3, hcg counts on an uneventful (thank Gd) pregnancy. first came back at 3842. The next (a week later) at 34,000 and then another one over this weekend which is at 56,000. Very normal doubling (that BTW makes me and my midwife wonder if I had my dates correct for ovulation I may be 2 weeks off.) My progesterone numbers are also, (thank Gd) normal at 20.32 and then 23.6. Since they should be anywhere from 10-90 throughout the 1st trimester, then I'm normal.

So I'm sure that my poor midwife (well the one at the HMO anyway) thinks I'm about to be a difficult patient, but really I was a model patient the last time. I just need to chill out a bit and not worry so much. So I have my next appointment on Friday and then my ultrasound to confirm dates on Monday of next week. And in 16 days we hop on a plane to go to my dad's wedding and to tell the family to set another place at the table. :) It sure is hard to keep news like this under wraps.

In other news, my SIL got approved to make aliyah, so she leaves for Israel and her semester in Ulpan January 15th. Which means, of course, that she will miss the birth of the baby and getting to see him/her until she makes her first visit home to the States, which is who knows how far away. But it is such an amazing opportunity that I am thrilled for her.

Did you check out my current projects? ------>

We aren't really telling anyone yet, but I needed to park this html graphic somewhere and since only about 3 people check this blog ever, I figured it was a good place to do it. Please keep us in your prayers. We've been trying for a year and a half and we want this baby in the absolute worst way. But if you do happen to come across this, please keep it under wraps for now. I'll let you know when it is public knowledge.

Colonial House and other sundries

So DH and I watched the first bit of Colonial House last night. I don't like it NEARLY as much as Frontier House. They spent no time at all getting the viewer into the experience with the colonists. We jumped in as they were getting on the boat to the colony. We missed training and any sort of real introduction to the players. We also never got any real tour of the colony or the homes but were told to check things out on the website. It was nice to see the brief tour through Mrs. Vorhees kitchen however brief and string obsessed it was. Colonial House is much harder to get into because it feels very scattered and without any real direction. Plus, the colonists don't really seem to be getting into the experience fully. Maybe it is just too far to go back?

I would love to see a "Fiddler on the Roof" house. Remove the romance of it a bit and at the same time get to see how the ancestors from another prominant culture in our melting pot lived. It is enclosed enough (thanks to the ghetto/shtetl restrictions) to really get a feel for the era unlike trying to replicate Lower East Side tenament house complete with shirtwaist factory. Plus it will be interesting to see Sabbath restrictions enforced there as well. Maybe do from Purim through till Shavuot. Could be interesting.

So I got The Outside World tonight at the library, started and then finished it. I do believe that I will be purchasng this one in hardback. I enjoyed her other book The Ladies Auxiliary very much, but this one just is amazing. I keep reading about how it is funny, etc, and while it is amusing in places, I was just so moved by it and I cannot begin to say how wonderful this book is. Seriously.

DS and I are having some clashes lately, which is adding a lot of stress. He has taken to meowing all the time. And he does it in place of whining when he doesn't get his way, which seems to be happening more and more often. (it doesn't help that the way he isn't getting includes things like pouring apple juice on teh carpets for effect and stuff) And he doesn't want to go to sleep at night and fights it relentlessly.

He also hasn't let anyone but me put him to bed in over a year. Major screaming and hysterics if Michael tries. I'm just at my wit's end.

So my monitor is fried

And luckily I can use DH's computer here and there if I need to. It was a dramatic ending - a lot of fizzling that ended in a going black to the line of light in the middle followed by the little twinkle before total blackness. We're in the market for a new one for me.

The weather here is hot so we've had a lot of pool days, and indoor playdays. We went to the mall to their play area yesterday. We brought our lunch and had a great time with our friends.

I read another book in between the ones I was reading called "Not Much Just Chillin' " and it is WONDEFUL. It is about middle school. It's non-fiction and follows several different kids through their year in middle school. It certainly makes you consider homeschooling if you weren't already. What a hard row to hoe for kids. I was lucky that I went to a small private school ofr elementary through 8th grade and then went stright to high school. I cannot imagine having to go to middle school. Ugh.

Our brakes also went out this week. Well they were seriously grinding metal to metal (no warning squeak or anything) so I eased it back home and called DH to get a ride home and he fixed it the next morning. Ugh. Now that was freaky. DH said the rotors were ground down pretty far.

Now I have to drag DH out of bed (it IS 8:30), get him to work and start getting ready for Shabbat. This weekend is Lag B'Omer, so we have haircuts on our agenda. My long-haired 3yo is going to get his first serious haircut. He has only gotten trims, but he wants it short for the summer and I think it is time. I'll miss the little surfer boy look he has going on though.